- "I knew you'd come." The man's face was shining. He was sitting comfortably on that park bench, looking carefree. Hi smile was confident. He looked younger than he really was. He was in his mid forties, but nothing on his appearance revealed it. He seemed serene.
- "This can't be. I can't believe it's true". Said the girl. She could not believe her eyes, almost unable to move, numb out of surprise.
- "Why can't you believe it's true? You chose to find me. All I had to do was wait a few minutes. And to be honest with you, it's a bright sunlit day. Very hot even for a spring day. What's better than enjoying your coffee outside in the park among green, children screaming, young ones staring at the sky,couples, businessmen talking on cell phones, old people strolling. I would had stayed for at least half an hour more and I'd enjoy every second of this God-sent day. You are early. Come sit with me. I brought coffee for you too. Let us enjoy this beautiful scenery together."
- "You must be crazy. I am shocked here and you invite me to just sit and enjoy the morning with you. I am barely standing on my feet seeing what I see here. I don't even know you. You are a complete stranger to me" the girl answered with a touch of anger and surprise in her voice.
- "Yet we both know you will do it in the end. Don't make life complicated with questions and whys. Come. Sit next to me. The mind always plays tricks to spontaneous reactions if you give it time to act. So don't give it more time to act and follow your instinct. Don't be afraid of me nor the answers you might find along the way. You need them as much as I do." The girl did exactly as instructed. She did not let reason settle down inside her. She took a few small reluctant steps towards the bench and finally sat down. Any doubts she had, vanished immediately as she was putting her weight alongside the bench. She was sitting close to the stranger but not close enough if he dared to move to her. She still could not trust him, but she wanted to know more. She was very curious to where this strange incident would lead. She did not stare at him. Not even the slightest glimpse. She was staring at a void, in front of her. The silence almost drove her nuts. She was waiting for him to break that silence. But he did not. She could almost sense him smiling ironically even though she did not even look to his side. In a strange way she was numb, unable to react. The feeling of curiosity,numbness and a slight fear altogether rendered her unable to say or do anything. So in those almost endless seconds of silence all she did was stare the other side of park their were both in. Suddenly things starting to feel hotter. The colors of the scenery became brighter. The blue of the sky, the green of the flora around them, everything seemed much more bright and welcoming to her now. She remembered that she had forgotten the beauty of places like this. And the value of silence. She was a city girl and her life was always surrounded by hasty people,fast life and a lot of noise. Now, there in that bench with a stranger she could re-establish a long lost communication with the immaterial world. And along find out that also her inner world was shifting to another kind of space. And the silence? That cleansing silence was the catalyst to all that. She would love to stay like this for much longer. She would love it cause that was making random thoughts pop inside her mind which was immensely troubled for quite some time lately. But that strange man -who was starting to feel like an old acquaintance of hers began talking.
- "Take a look at the people we see in front of us". He was speaking confidently, looking straight ahead to the point where the girl had been lost for a while. - "Such a beautifully instrumented coincidence. I see a child down there playing carefree inside the sandbox while his mother on the other side is smiling at it while looking after it from afar. I also see a young boy with his skateboard. I have been noticing him for quite some time before you even got here. He fell down many times. But he did not give up. He just keeps picking his skateboard up and trying to make it. I think he is trying to pull a trick called "Kick-flip". I think he is getting better and unless he breaks a leg or an arm today I believe tomorrow he will be back with his friends trying to do a new trick altogether. I see a couple sitting on the green grass. They kiss and hug and cheerfully play with each other. They don't care if they see them or not. They don't care for anything other than their romance. Oh, take a look at this man in the black tuxedo. Poor guy. It's really hot tonight and he has to wear a tuxedo. A black one and a tie. And he is so preoccupied talking on the phone that his walking and all his moves are not more human than a robot. Obviously he is fighting over his business plans. And take a look right over there. To that elder couple. One helping another to perform the simplest of everyday tasks, like walk or eat. Tasks that for you and me are so simple are to them a marathon. Sometimes it makes you wonder how hard it is being senile. You should know that I never believed in coincidence. It comes by many names. Luck,Fortune,God,Karma. But it always comes. Every day is full of epiphanies. Small miracles, fragments of another dimension, a master plan in motion. You could put on your shades, those dark tinted sun glasses of yours and leave, pretending you saw nothing. Did you see anything? I wonder?"
- "What do you mean by "see anything""? said the girl troubled. - "You did not show me anything, and you are talking as if you are writing a novel. You play it mysterious with those "big" words of yours. But you are telling me nothing. I might as well put on my thick black shades and move on.". The girl was impatient now. Felt as if she was part of a joke. But her intuition told her that there were more to this conversation.
The man changed his stance on the bench. He tilted forward placing his arms on his knees. He looked much more relaxed now. Took another sip of his coffee and began talking again. -"There's no need for hostilities. Ok, let me ask straightly. Which one of those you are really?" he said again with a mystery hidden behind both his smile and his words.
- "I am not that stupid nor that young and naive as you think I am. I noticed that "coincidence" you referred to earlier. Before us are the stages of human life. Infant, child, teenager, adult and senile. Which am I? None of them. And all of them together. You don't know me at all. You think of me based on something I can't simply put my finger on. You seem to have an impression of me, an impression I never gave you the slightest clue about. But you don't know a thing about me. I am different. Not a normal girl. Not a girl you can understand. I am an outlaw. A runaway. I learned to live by my own rules, simply because the rules of others were a prison for me. I look young, but behind those eyes there is much sorrow, trouble and discomfort. You got your answer. Your stupid quiz is over. I am leaving this place. It was a mistake to even have walked here. Goodbye mister. I'd say it was a pleasure meeting you but I am not good at lies". The girl was furious. She had lost her temper. She violently stood up and rushed to leave as far as she could. But the man was not alarmed at all. Felt almost as if he could predict the future. While the girl had almost turned the corner he shouted with a loud but full of confidence voice"
- "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT DREAM OF YOURS?".
Suddenly time had stopped. All other sounds and smells seized to stimulate her senses anymore. Her temper vanished and was substituted by another strange and inconceivable notion. Suddenly it felt wrong to had walked away from that otherwise decent man. She realized her anger, that momentary reaction was not something of her character. She was irrational and she had always been a rational person. She was standing motionless in the middle of that small park pathway. Everybody turned their heads after the man's shout. She did not even notice. She had lost her grasp with that dimension for a moment. She did not turn, she did not move, only standing there unable to move or act. She just stood there, completely lost. The world was closing in so quickly now. But time seemed to had come to a pause. She stayed there for a while, the rest of the park was staring at her and the mysterious man was silently waiting for her reaction. She turned slowly after a while. Her ego said "go", her heart "go on, you have nothing to lose" and her mind began analyzing all the the possible scenarios. "The mind always plays tricks to spontaneous reactions if you give it time to act. So don't give it more time to act and follow your instinct" the man told her earlier. But which one between mind,heart and ego was closer to what he called instinct?. Sometimes choices have already been taken for us. Before we even know it and surely before we can change them. It's not fate. Fate does not work like this. Fate gives us the wheels. But it's our actions that set them into motion. It is something in the heart. A place where everything is crystal clear. Crystal clear but hidden in a cave protected but also hard to shine. She started moving towards the bench where that man was. His grim revealed relief. He knew how to keep his feelings well hidden, but a slight relief in his eyes betrayed of his human nature. He was not supernatural and as it seemed he was fragile. He had that beautiful human fragility on him. The girl was not weak at all. Her steps were decisive again. This time she was not fooling around. She was head to toes ready to take some answers no matter what the cost.
It's always something similar to that. We don't like our questions unanswered. We are not beings that leave questions unanswered. And we are willing to pay much -sometimes even more than the answers deserve- to get them. No other being has questions and no other being seeks answers on this planet. The man remembered a quote on a math book which was strangely philosophical for being inserted in a scientific text book. "Every problem offers a gift. We seek the answer to the problem cause we need the gift". She had decided to come back for her wrapped in truth gift. And the only possible way of getting some answers to her "problem" was smiling back at her from a bench close.
- "Ok, I get it. You are gonna struggle me till you reveal anything to me. You know I am curious and you play your game by torturing me with those philosophical enquiries. I will play your game then, but I'll be doing some questioning too this time" said the girl while comforting herself for the second time on that bench. She was obviously calmer now. And the incident that took place just before made her more accepting to what would follow.
- "Curious? Yeah. It's not hard not to notice it on you. But impatient too. And it's a pity to be so. All good things take some time. Not that it's sure you will discover good things. So if I may rephrase, all things worth knowing take time to be known. You should relax. You have already missed your university class I believe" he said.
- "How, how do you know I go to the university?" the girl answered surprised completely by his words.
- " It's not that hard to notice as well. You wear sneakers and dressed casually. So you are not heading for a job. As far as I can tell you are no more than 20 years old and you carry a heavy backpack obviously heavy from the books inside it. The university campus is two blocks down this road and you entered the park the opposite direction so I presume you were heading there and thought to satisfy your curiosity by passing through this park. And of course I can see you are a bright young lady. I am sure you would not let yourself out of higher education. Although, a secret that we both know is that this so sought after higher education does not offer much. Right?". Again the man looked as if he was a college tutor, serious and straight. It was barely visible but he had a pinch of uncertainty in his words, as if he was also in search of some answers.
- "Good work mr Know-It-All. You have done a fine detective job. But you missed something. I can still catch that class if I leave now". The girl answered sarcastically but not in a impolite way. Yet it was hard to know whether she was joking or not.
The man slightly tilted his head and smile back to her without saying a word for a while. She smiled back and laughed in the end. She instantly answered "Something which I won't do, cause after all I am seeking for answers. You are lucky though that it's mister Turnback's class today and it's boring as hell". They both bursted into laughter and it was the first time they were both calm and in a friendly mood.
- "I spoke to you about impatience earlier. I don't have to be a fortuneteller to see that in you. The flame of youth comes often with that impatience. But you will be growing old in time and you will realize that it's a great virtue to able to control time. And since no time machine is on the making for the time being, patience is the only way to control time. Only a few minutes have passed since that almost unreal gaze of yours first touched mine entering the park. Still we have not introduced to each other. I don't even know your name. Will you do me the honor?" gently said the man.
- "Well, indeed we are complete strangers but I get to like you. Don't get your hopes up though. Still we will be complete strangers after this but at least we'll know its' others' name. My name is Hope. And yours?" she answered.
- "How fitting? I would have never imagined a name more suitable for you. From what I see Hope, you seem to have kicked away your hopes in this life" said the man.
- "Kicked them? I never had hope. I have been living too long compromising with everything. And now that I have to work and study and between barely sleep and rest, it's almost impossible to think of whatever you mean by "hopes". Life is a struggle, a rat race of the worst kind. My life is no better than that. So please, don't give me those lectures about hope and faith and staying true to dreams. From your outfit you seem quite elegant. Polished shoes,combed hair and an expensive outfit. What are you? A lawyer,a stock broker,some kind of playboy from a rich family who likes pretending a cheap intellect to young girls? What do you even know about hope?". Hope was once again out of her character. She wasn't normally aggressive to others. She was calm, and almost never let herself out of control. She could be thought of a loner, a characteristic she never tried to shatter before the eyes of others. She barely had friends both in university or real life. In a way she always loved her independence and that independence came with a price. A lonely life.
- "Please calm down. I told you. Patience is a virtue. Why don't you simply ask me? You accused me of guessing about you earlier, but you seem to be doing the same. You have to get this temper of yours looked upon. It clouds your judgement. I see potential in you. Why do you allow your flare conceal it?" said the man again as calmly as he could. Contrary to Hope he did not seem to rush with his time. Hope had to think for a while. Her rational mind had to make a plan quickly. Since she believed this would end quickly she was thinking how to make it to the university quickly, catch up to whatever class was left, return home,eat,take a shower, dress up, go to work. By now it was a routine which she never deviated from the past year. Thinking it a little better she had not left herself out of control the past year. It was time for her to do it for the first time. It was a leap of faith cause she was falling into uncharted waters, but all the hurdles she had been over taught her how to swim. So she fell into water and swam. She forgot for a minute her life,her job and her university. For once she had to leave them behind and seize the moment. That man, despite his spiky attitude was already driving her curiosity further with his every sentence.
- "Ok, you probably are right. So let me start over. Tell me your name first?" Hope replied with obvious calmness in her voice now.
- "You seem to hate my mysterious ways, and I find it intriguing to be challenging you. You seem to hate it, but there is more to it than just teasing you or satisfying my strange appetite as you believe so. Let's just say that I can't still reveal my true name to you. So for the sake of continuing our so interesting conversation here, let's say my name is "Morpheus". He seemed to enjoy this sick game, but also seemed to have a plan in the depths of his mind. He was expecting Hope to burst in fury again. He had already that pointy provoking smile on his lips. And he was not wrong.
Hope fell into the trap immediately. -" What is this supposed to mean? I am beginning to get bored of your games" she replied hopelessly.
- "Morpheus was in ancient Greek Mythology the....." began Morpheus to explain with his tutoring face again.
- "Stop it. I know who Morpheus was" Hope interrupted him abruptly. - "I have studied mythology among others myself too. I only want you to be straight to me for once. Oh, now I get it. Patience. Right?. Hope smiled with a cheating look in her eyes.
- "You learn your lessons. It takes you some time but you do learn. So it's settled. For now just call me Morpheus".
- "So what do you do for a living Morpheus? Oh. Wait. Let me guess. You won't reveal that to me too, right?" said Hope.
- "Yeah, I believe my occupation is irrelevant to our conversation" Morpheus replied.
-"And I presume from your attitude, which seems to know everything, that you already know my occupation" Hope said again both challenging him and provoking him. But Morpheus was calm and surprisingly serene. His facial expressions had something human on them but still failed to reveal his feelings. His body language,his steady voice. All of them where hardly revealing anything that would allow Hope to guess his thoughts or the slightest thing that would cross his mind. He was a good actor or a really bad ghost.
Morpheus took a deep breath, looked away and with a provoking smile and a spark in his eyes he replied.
-"As a matter of fact I don't. Nor do I know anything about your studies in university. So please introduce me to both if you like".
-"I am studying ancient literature and cultures. And I work as a graphics artist in an advertising company. Pretty dull, don't you think?"
-"Not at all. Sounds pretty exciting to me. But you make it sound dull. I can't help but wonder though why did you choose to study "ancient literature and cultures". I does not sound like the most prosperous occupation to invest for the future". Morpheus was a good "fisherman". He had laid his bait and now Hope was ready to bite it. He smiled secretly away without letting her know though. Hope was already talking fast.
-"You see, that's the problem. It's higher education and not job preparation. You are supposed to learn something. Become professional to something. Something that you like. Something that you love and would give your self into completely. But the society has formed all this in a fight for a better job. A marathon where the ones who win will get an job as a low paid apprentice with the potential in 40 years to have become an eligible board member with a mansion and a Mercedes parked in the garage. I am not like that. I study something I like. Ancient cultures fascinate me. And when I graduate I might be starving, may never find a job in that section that would pay the bills but I will have graduated happy and proud to have driven down my own path". Hope was in talking spree now. Morpheus could foresee that and he was already laying more tiles for her to walk upon.
-"And what about your job? Tell me more about it". Morpheus' smile was even harder to keep secret anymore. But Hope was so deeply affected by her thoughts that she would not even notice.
-"Don't get me started about this. I am living on my own for two years now. I guess I was lucky to have found it in the beginning of that journey. I can at least pay the rent and the bills but this is as far as it goes. I am only making a living but not actually living anywhere close to well. I am being given small art projects which are usually parts of bigger multinational projects. Usually I have no knowledge of what the bigger project is and frankly not that I really care. I work many hours in many different projects at the same time. Many times I have to take job back home cause my supervisors will push me when the deadline is close. Sometimes I have to work overnight, till early in the dawn to finish all these. And then it's that "Mr M". Why the hell do they call him "Mr M"? What happened to the real name? Nobody seems to have seen him around the company but he seems to have been biggest client our company has ever faced. They say he has lots of money and power. To cut a long story short, that "Mr M" is said to have been sponsoring a campaign. No one knows for sure what it exactly is. But there are some rumors that say he does not advertise a product but some kind of idea. And also rumors have it that he managed to rent all the huge billboards of this city in order to achieve his peculiar plan. If you ask me, that's crap. It's only a publicity stunt which will soon uncover some kind of product he wants to sell and make millions out of. The thing is that this Mr M' is a perfectionist. He really pushes my supervisors who on their turn push me and my colleagues. They asked of all the artists in my department to seize working on their other smaller projects and concentrate only into this "Mr M's" project. They say it's a huge leap for our company. But I hate this "Mr M". They asked from all of us to present him of a set of 10 backgrounds and this "Mr M" would choose himself personally the winning one. And they said that the artist whose set will be chosen will get a great sum of cash and maybe even a promotion to head artist director. I don't believe a word, but if there is any kind of truth to that I really need that cash. They can keep their promotion but that kind of money would really come handy now. Like I said I hate this guy. He already declined personally the collection of 2 sets of mine until now. That makes 20 backgrounds total. Can you imagine? One single background would take me more than two days to complete. That ungrateful man seems also to have rejected all the sets from my colleagues too. He seems to be toying with us. I have sent my last set of 10 backgrounds previous week. I am announcing to my supervisor that I am not playing that game anymore and that this was the last set I have sent and whether he likes it or not I quit. I will concentrate on the rest of my projects. I guess this "Mr M" ain't gonna choose a set at all".
Hope had been so talkative for the first time. Her pain, her complaints about her life were a good reason for her to talk a lot, something which due to her character was very rare. She barely ever talked that much for that long and almost never complained. For those who did not know her she was the ideal of independence and self preservation. But it was not quite like this. She always had deep roots in her mind. She was thinking in an extraordinary way but it was something she'd never show. All those enquiries she had in mind, she kept them deep inside only for her. She was alone now in life. Stranded in a difficult and demanding way of life. And she had left aside all her thoughts,fears and expectations for the sake of survival. She had to do it. It felt the only way of surviving this jungle. But every night she had guilts. In her dreams she would see the days she was a young girl. She would remember her pure imagination and her positive spirit. She felt sad she let go of it. But she had to survive. And only the strong survive, the weak perish.
-" Did you make a wish today?" Morpheus jumped out of subject.
-" You said you were interested about my job. What does this have to do with it?" Hope sharply replied.
-"Some questions are meant not to be answered and some answers come only when you stop asking. Our jobs occupy 8 hours of our life. But our thoughts occupy our whole space, the whole of the time. Even when we work or sleep we can't escape of two things. Our thoughts and our fears. Even those so important feelings we have, they are not always present. While listening to you telling me about your job and your life I noticed that nostalgia you so effectively manage to hide. Something is bothering. You know that something in your life is not right and you fight it as hard as you can. You feel that something is not right but you try to deny it. And the way I see it, you can face such situations with two ways. 1) Keep running without looking behind 2) Stop, turn around, smile back to your past and walk backwards. The second is the hardest, cause you don't see what's coming. It is easy to stumble and fall. It is even easier to get hurt cause all the dangers lurking are not visible. But you always keep track of all that passed this way. You see them, even in the depths of the horizon. And seeing them makes you value them. This way you remember all the friends you made and lost, all the heartaches, all the mistakes. But you also see yourself. You see what you did wrong and you smile on what felt doing right. And surely, you don't always take what you deserve in life, but make sure that you give to others what they deserve." Morpheus gave the impression he could go on like this forever. Hope was listening to him with her attention undivided. She already knew all these. She wasn't much different. But she was scared to admit it.
-" To answer your question. No, I did not make a wish today. Are wishes so important? They just give you false hope.". Hope's answers was drenched in grief. It wasn't right to say it, but she had to make herself believe it.
-" There is no false hope. There is only hope. We make it sound false because we are afraid of hope. We are afraid it might never see the day of light, that it might hurts us in the end. Animals don't hope for their food. They go out there and find it. And when they don't they die and that's all. But humans unlike animals are much different. There are things that we can't do.There are things that we can't do alone. There are things that we can only achieve by the help of that power we call "God". And most importantly there are those things we cannot do alone cause we need another person to help us. Strangely we'd ask from God things. Things like health or money or a better life. But we'd ask from a human only to be by our side. An animal who died in search for food is nothing else but a dead animal. A human being who died hoping for what his heart desired is more than alive." Morpheus had become completely serious by these words. Not a lecturer or a tutor anymore. Something was strange about him. We was sharp and straight and almost robotically capable to hide his feelings. What was extremely well hidden was the fact that he said those words with sorrow. As if he had experienced every moment of what he said. Almost as if he was living moments of his past. He was not a robot. He was human. And human feelings can't be hidden. Hope was staring at him now. Nothing was relaxed anymore. There was tension. Both of them were not sitting comfortably on the bench. Something had changed for both. Morpheus took a deep breath and continued talking.
-" Every wish you make - from the smallest insignificant to the wildest dream- is a small prayer. Only those with pure heart pray. The rest simply act. Only those with pure heart are able to wait. The rest quit. Only those with pure heart are willing to risk losing. The rest try to exploit those who take risks. I can see in your eyes that you know what I am talking about. Don't be shy or modest about it. If you know what I mean you are part of this "elite" group of people. I am sure you have kept your past hidden somewhere. In your mind possibly, but as far as I know, people like you, people of this "elite" group find the connection in their past through items they can touch and relate to. I am sure somewhere in a drawer or a dusty attic your past awaits you. Memories contain a part of the dreams you feared to make true. That part you chose to forget. But it's there, isn't it?" Morpheus wasn't that serious looking and sounding guy anymore. He let his guard down. He let himself be completely transparent in case Hope wanted to see with her eyes what his point was all the way. He was expecting for Hope to ask him questions about him, about how he knew all these and what all those meant. But Hope had her own problems to deal with. She gathered all the confidence she could find and asked Morpheus.
-" Why are you telling me all these? Why are you lecturing me like this? Hope desperately asked.
-" Wish I knew why?" he replied with a nod that revealed question too.
And suddenly what followed was complete silence. Everything turned black and white for both of them. On one side there was that girl which this man seemed to have put more hopes that she'd ever dare to do for herself. And on the other side a man who was supposed to be able to control himself, yet had showed some strange human feelings. Now he seemed more vulnerable than ever. He seemed confused too and that with no obvious reason. And he seemed to go deeper into that the more he was interacting with that girl. Silence must have lasted for an eternity again. But this time it was different. They both did not care about the colors, the scenery or what was happening around. Morpheus spoke first.
-" Come with me, let's take a walk. We need some fresh air. Both of us". He stood up and Hope followed him without saying a single word. They began walking forward down the narrow park pathway. Hope could not help but ask him.
-" What's happening with you? You look and sound different. You don't only lecture me. You lecture yourself too, ain't that right?". For the first time Hope had felt compassion for that man. He was fragile now. She did not know why or what suddenly had changed him but she found herself wanting to help him too as much as he seemed to try to help her. Morpheus sighed letting all the the air out of his lungs and talked.
-" We all have our secrets. Even those we keep only from ourselves. Secrets have a devastating power though. When you keep them well hidden they can kill you on the inside. And sometimes when find the courage to whisper them, they have the power to hurt others. There are times you think you can keep a secret forever inside you. You think you can tame it, come in terms with it, reason it. But the truth is that harmony does not last forever. Just like spring passes to winter and makes the beautiful flowers wither. "
-" Don't let those secrets haunt you forever. It's what you do with them that matters. Make them a teacher and not a punisher" Hope replied calmly and now she was the one giving lessons. She knew what he was talking about. She could almost feel him despite the fact that he would surely not reveal his secrets. Yet she'd do her best to help him.
-"Tell me about your dreams when you were young? You seem to understand my words so I believe deep inside there there is something you managed to suppress through the years." said Morpheus.
-"Don't you think I am privileged of some secrets too. Some things belong to the past and they ought to stay there. I think I understand now all the things you taught me. All the things you tried to teach me. I am thankful you did. You are a stranger to me yet you dared something not even those close to me ever dared. I was overreacting earlier and it seems it was my mistake to do so. I don't know why you do it, I don't know what you gain from it but I am thankful nevertheless. If you'd like to meet again, I think I could even call you my friend". Hope was seeing clearer now. This man wasn't a threat. He had strange ways but who doesn't anyway. She was looking him deep in his eyes. She could look through others by looking in their eyes. And this man was not lying nor was pretending. That was something she always valued to a person. Morpheus interrupted her thoughts.
-"I don't think we'll meet again soon. But a friend is a friend whether you see him every day or never again. A friend is not someone who occupies your time. A friend is the one who occupies a place in your heart. I guess it's time to say goodbye. I think it's my fault you missed your class today, but as a matter of fact you'd never go there anyway". Morpheus laughed at his remark and Hope too. They had walked all the way to the exit of the the park. It was true. It was time to say goodbye.
-"I won't ask you why you say I'd miss my class anyway. You seem to know more than you tell me. Yeah. It's time for goodbyes. I think I won't ever forget what you taught me today. And even when the mind forgets the heart has a great way to remind you. Oh, but wait. I almost forgot to ask you in the first place. How did you manage to come in my dream tonight. I saw you in my dream, sitting exactly as you did waiting for me. That's why I deviated off my course and passed through the park. I was 99% sure it was my stupid illusions again, that I would just waste my time." Morpheus was now smiling again. He opened his arms wide, like an angel who spreads his wings before he flies back to heaven.
-"That one 1% is always fascinating when it comes true, isn't it? And illusions are never stupid. If you manage to create an illusion, if you manage to maintain it and still live in balance with all that's happening in your real life, if you manage to hold on that illusion, isn't that a wish? A dream? Your world and only your world? Isn't that what authors and directors do? Don't they make their illusion visible to others? Better. Not visible. Aren't they creating a world of their imagination so that others may enter? Imagine that power brought into the real world. The world changes by illusions. And it changes by those illusions of the ones who walked a step further when everything around them told them to go back. Be proud of your illusions, they can change your world. They can change the worlds of those you care about". Morpheus was heading for the exit. He did not fly like an angel. But surely he brought peace in Hope's mind. She had no reason to doubt him. He seemed to had known enough. Enough to be a helping hand. She had forgotten that she had given up on herself lately. And this man reminded her who she really was. Reminded her what she was worth and how capable she was. Things she managed to hide away even from her own self.
-"Pfff. Yeah, that's what authors actually do" she sighed with despair. Morpheus had already walked far from her. She failed to notice cause she was knee deep in million thoughts that were squeezed in her mind so unexpectedly . She finally realized he was actually fleeing from the scene. She shouted towards him.
-"Wait, you did not tell me how you managed to get in my dream tonight. How is it possible that I saw you in there before I even met you in real life?". Morpheus was walking away without answering nor giving any sign that he would answer. She shouted louder.
-"STOP for a minute. At least tell me how did you know I would come here today in the first place. You said you had been waiting for me.". Morpheus still left her hanging there. Again not a single clue that he would answer. Hope kept watching him moving away. She could run after him. She could ask him for more time. She could press him for answers. She was puzzled. She needed those answers. She was curious by nature. She realized that all her life she was living for answers. And now just realized that while seeking the answers she created more questions. She laughed as hard and loud as she could. "Some questions are meant not to be answered and some answers come only when you stop asking" Morpheus had told her earlier. Finally she understood that. Morpheus even if he could not hear her deafening laugh would surely had sensed her laughing. She had finally realized everything. She was laughing with all her heart by now. Morpheus without having stopped walking away turned his head and laughed back at her. She shouted to him from afar, with the most sincere and happy face she had for years.
-"You won't tell me anything, right?".
-"No, I WON'T" he answered and bursted into laughs too as he was vanishing around the corner. Hope opened her arms widely, as if she was an angel spreading her wings and ready to fly to heaven. She closed her eyes and started spinning out of balance. She yelled with all her might. She didn't care anymore if anyone saw,listened or even judged her.
-"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE" she said and the sun was bleaching her whole body. The temperature was rising and her blood was boiling now. She began sweating and the light was blinding her closed eyes, to a point where it became annoying.
Finally she could no more see anything due to the bright light. With a sudden move she stood up in bed. All her covers fell on the floor. She was covered in sweat. The previous night she had forgotten the blinds of the windows wide open. It was already midday and the warm rays of the spring sun had raised the room temperature high.She got terrified. For a moment she could not realize where she was. She stood there motionless and speechless.
-"Damn it, it was only a dream" she shouted to herself loudly. Dizzy as she was she stepped down the bed. She looked at her alarm clock.
-"Damn it, I overslept. DAMN IT." she said again. And then like a thunder which hits the earth, something crossed her mind."I think it's my fault you missed your class today, but as a matter of fact you'd never go there anyway" Morpheus had told her in her dream. She could not believe in herself by now. She tried to rationalize herself and disregard what she had witnessed just then. The previous day she would had said "It's only a dream" but despite the millions of thoughts that made her try to say the same her heart was telling her that it was all true. She was finally fighting reason over illusions. And she was happy about it. She laughed again and this time it was for real. "You are lucky though that it's mister Turnback's class today and it's boring as hell" had told to Morpheus in the dream. It was not far from reality. Finally she did not feel guilty having skipped her class. She had never missed a class until now. Nor had she ever missed one single day from work -"Time to skip class for once, it's no big deal" said to herself. -"At least I won't miss work" said again to herself as she turned back to the alarm clock. She had forgotten already what time it was.
-"DAMN IT. I'll miss job too" she could not stop laughing though. -"Oh well. I don't care anymore" she said to herself with a wide smile across her face while remembering her dream. She pretended lazy for the first time. Did everything as if it was Sunday. She did not rush. She took a shower, she put on comfortable clothes, combed her hair and walked in the small kitchen of her even smaller flat. It was coffee time. Not the usual coffee time where she'd grab her mug and walk out in a rush. She was determined to take it slow. Morpheus had taught her that the only way to control time is by patience. Morpheus? It was that dream that completely changed her day. She stopped denying it. She accepted it. Maybe that was a sign or maybe not. Whatever it was she did not care. She did things her way today. But differently from any other "her way" she had tried in the past. And it felt great doing so.
Hope prepared her coffee and sat comfortably in the kitchen table. The window was facing straight to the side where the sun was shinning. She should had closed the blinds she thought, but she didn't. She let the sun enter her life. At first she did not notice. She was only enjoying the scenery from the small but in an elevated position flat. She could see the whole city extending far to the horizon. She enjoyed the view. She wasn't paying any attention to small things like that lately. While doing so the sun moved behind the huge skyscraper before her. It was the company she was working for. The top floors had been her torture chambers. She had forgotten about work. Nobody had called her on the phone yet. It felt strange. Her supervisor should had been all over her by now since she did not show up. While the sun was hiding behind the tall and large building she noticed something which the sun's brightness had been hiding all along. The huge advertising billboard her company had been using. She was petrified to find that one of the backgrounds she had created was there. With all the fuss she forgot that today was "Mr M's" unveiling of his new campaign. "That's why nobody noticed my absence" she murmured and laughed for another time. But this was not all to her surprise. She did not even pay attention to what this campaign was about. The only thing that was written on the billboard seemed familiar. Huge letters artistically placed over the background she had created. It was saying:
5) "Did you make a wish today?"
6) "We all have our secrets. Even those we keep only from ourselves"
7) ""Some questions are meant not to be answered and some answers come only when you stop asking"
8) " Memories contain a part of the dreams you feared to make true"
9) "Stop, turn around, smile back to your past and walk backwards."
10) " Every wish you make is a small prayer
Hope had read again and again those words. And then she began quickly looking through all her notebook. She was sorry she had left all these behind. But what she had left behind finally followed her all this time. Like a faithful dog who would never leave the side of his boss. The side of his friend. She had lost track of time. Not that she actually cared anyway. Her serenity was only broken when her phone rang. She looked at the screen. It was her supervisor calling her. She answered but the truth is she was not in the mood for any of she was about to tell her. But instead of his bossy usual tone she could hear music and loud voices from inside. After a while she focused only to hear him strangely cheerful.
-"Hope? Where the hell have you been? Nobody can find you around the office complex. This unveiling party is awesome. Everybody's celebrating our success. "Mr M." is completely satisfied both from the campaign and its' launch. We made it. And guess what? Your work was the one chosen. Can you believe it? Where are you? Come here, there is much to celebrate. And a fat check is waiting for you."
-"I am not around you know. I didn't come to work today" Hope replied with complete boredom in her voice.
-"Who cares? Come here immediately. We are being offered to co-operate with the biggest heads of advertising industry. Our company is gonna become huge." he supervisor answered and he sounded like a child in a candy store.
-"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You know. I think I will enjoy the day a little more today. I will come tomorrow then. I need that check and I think I will be handing you my resignation tomorrow as well. Let me put it as politely as I can. I QUIT. But talking about cooperation. Surely I have nothing against it. Find me your best artists. I am going to need some work done on the illustration of the BOOK I am writing when tomorrow comes. As for today?". Hope did not finish her phrase. She hang up and that smiled brightly satisfied for what the day had brought her. She stood up,turned around and started walking backwards. She was free.
- "This can't be. I can't believe it's true". Said the girl. She could not believe her eyes, almost unable to move, numb out of surprise.
- "Why can't you believe it's true? You chose to find me. All I had to do was wait a few minutes. And to be honest with you, it's a bright sunlit day. Very hot even for a spring day. What's better than enjoying your coffee outside in the park among green, children screaming, young ones staring at the sky,couples, businessmen talking on cell phones, old people strolling. I would had stayed for at least half an hour more and I'd enjoy every second of this God-sent day. You are early. Come sit with me. I brought coffee for you too. Let us enjoy this beautiful scenery together."
- "You must be crazy. I am shocked here and you invite me to just sit and enjoy the morning with you. I am barely standing on my feet seeing what I see here. I don't even know you. You are a complete stranger to me" the girl answered with a touch of anger and surprise in her voice.
- "Yet we both know you will do it in the end. Don't make life complicated with questions and whys. Come. Sit next to me. The mind always plays tricks to spontaneous reactions if you give it time to act. So don't give it more time to act and follow your instinct. Don't be afraid of me nor the answers you might find along the way. You need them as much as I do." The girl did exactly as instructed. She did not let reason settle down inside her. She took a few small reluctant steps towards the bench and finally sat down. Any doubts she had, vanished immediately as she was putting her weight alongside the bench. She was sitting close to the stranger but not close enough if he dared to move to her. She still could not trust him, but she wanted to know more. She was very curious to where this strange incident would lead. She did not stare at him. Not even the slightest glimpse. She was staring at a void, in front of her. The silence almost drove her nuts. She was waiting for him to break that silence. But he did not. She could almost sense him smiling ironically even though she did not even look to his side. In a strange way she was numb, unable to react. The feeling of curiosity,numbness and a slight fear altogether rendered her unable to say or do anything. So in those almost endless seconds of silence all she did was stare the other side of park their were both in. Suddenly things starting to feel hotter. The colors of the scenery became brighter. The blue of the sky, the green of the flora around them, everything seemed much more bright and welcoming to her now. She remembered that she had forgotten the beauty of places like this. And the value of silence. She was a city girl and her life was always surrounded by hasty people,fast life and a lot of noise. Now, there in that bench with a stranger she could re-establish a long lost communication with the immaterial world. And along find out that also her inner world was shifting to another kind of space. And the silence? That cleansing silence was the catalyst to all that. She would love to stay like this for much longer. She would love it cause that was making random thoughts pop inside her mind which was immensely troubled for quite some time lately. But that strange man -who was starting to feel like an old acquaintance of hers began talking.
- "Take a look at the people we see in front of us". He was speaking confidently, looking straight ahead to the point where the girl had been lost for a while. - "Such a beautifully instrumented coincidence. I see a child down there playing carefree inside the sandbox while his mother on the other side is smiling at it while looking after it from afar. I also see a young boy with his skateboard. I have been noticing him for quite some time before you even got here. He fell down many times. But he did not give up. He just keeps picking his skateboard up and trying to make it. I think he is trying to pull a trick called "Kick-flip". I think he is getting better and unless he breaks a leg or an arm today I believe tomorrow he will be back with his friends trying to do a new trick altogether. I see a couple sitting on the green grass. They kiss and hug and cheerfully play with each other. They don't care if they see them or not. They don't care for anything other than their romance. Oh, take a look at this man in the black tuxedo. Poor guy. It's really hot tonight and he has to wear a tuxedo. A black one and a tie. And he is so preoccupied talking on the phone that his walking and all his moves are not more human than a robot. Obviously he is fighting over his business plans. And take a look right over there. To that elder couple. One helping another to perform the simplest of everyday tasks, like walk or eat. Tasks that for you and me are so simple are to them a marathon. Sometimes it makes you wonder how hard it is being senile. You should know that I never believed in coincidence. It comes by many names. Luck,Fortune,God,Karma. But it always comes. Every day is full of epiphanies. Small miracles, fragments of another dimension, a master plan in motion. You could put on your shades, those dark tinted sun glasses of yours and leave, pretending you saw nothing. Did you see anything? I wonder?"
- "What do you mean by "see anything""? said the girl troubled. - "You did not show me anything, and you are talking as if you are writing a novel. You play it mysterious with those "big" words of yours. But you are telling me nothing. I might as well put on my thick black shades and move on.". The girl was impatient now. Felt as if she was part of a joke. But her intuition told her that there were more to this conversation.
The man changed his stance on the bench. He tilted forward placing his arms on his knees. He looked much more relaxed now. Took another sip of his coffee and began talking again. -"There's no need for hostilities. Ok, let me ask straightly. Which one of those you are really?" he said again with a mystery hidden behind both his smile and his words.
- "I am not that stupid nor that young and naive as you think I am. I noticed that "coincidence" you referred to earlier. Before us are the stages of human life. Infant, child, teenager, adult and senile. Which am I? None of them. And all of them together. You don't know me at all. You think of me based on something I can't simply put my finger on. You seem to have an impression of me, an impression I never gave you the slightest clue about. But you don't know a thing about me. I am different. Not a normal girl. Not a girl you can understand. I am an outlaw. A runaway. I learned to live by my own rules, simply because the rules of others were a prison for me. I look young, but behind those eyes there is much sorrow, trouble and discomfort. You got your answer. Your stupid quiz is over. I am leaving this place. It was a mistake to even have walked here. Goodbye mister. I'd say it was a pleasure meeting you but I am not good at lies". The girl was furious. She had lost her temper. She violently stood up and rushed to leave as far as she could. But the man was not alarmed at all. Felt almost as if he could predict the future. While the girl had almost turned the corner he shouted with a loud but full of confidence voice"
- "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT DREAM OF YOURS?".
Suddenly time had stopped. All other sounds and smells seized to stimulate her senses anymore. Her temper vanished and was substituted by another strange and inconceivable notion. Suddenly it felt wrong to had walked away from that otherwise decent man. She realized her anger, that momentary reaction was not something of her character. She was irrational and she had always been a rational person. She was standing motionless in the middle of that small park pathway. Everybody turned their heads after the man's shout. She did not even notice. She had lost her grasp with that dimension for a moment. She did not turn, she did not move, only standing there unable to move or act. She just stood there, completely lost. The world was closing in so quickly now. But time seemed to had come to a pause. She stayed there for a while, the rest of the park was staring at her and the mysterious man was silently waiting for her reaction. She turned slowly after a while. Her ego said "go", her heart "go on, you have nothing to lose" and her mind began analyzing all the the possible scenarios. "The mind always plays tricks to spontaneous reactions if you give it time to act. So don't give it more time to act and follow your instinct" the man told her earlier. But which one between mind,heart and ego was closer to what he called instinct?. Sometimes choices have already been taken for us. Before we even know it and surely before we can change them. It's not fate. Fate does not work like this. Fate gives us the wheels. But it's our actions that set them into motion. It is something in the heart. A place where everything is crystal clear. Crystal clear but hidden in a cave protected but also hard to shine. She started moving towards the bench where that man was. His grim revealed relief. He knew how to keep his feelings well hidden, but a slight relief in his eyes betrayed of his human nature. He was not supernatural and as it seemed he was fragile. He had that beautiful human fragility on him. The girl was not weak at all. Her steps were decisive again. This time she was not fooling around. She was head to toes ready to take some answers no matter what the cost.
It's always something similar to that. We don't like our questions unanswered. We are not beings that leave questions unanswered. And we are willing to pay much -sometimes even more than the answers deserve- to get them. No other being has questions and no other being seeks answers on this planet. The man remembered a quote on a math book which was strangely philosophical for being inserted in a scientific text book. "Every problem offers a gift. We seek the answer to the problem cause we need the gift". She had decided to come back for her wrapped in truth gift. And the only possible way of getting some answers to her "problem" was smiling back at her from a bench close.
- "Ok, I get it. You are gonna struggle me till you reveal anything to me. You know I am curious and you play your game by torturing me with those philosophical enquiries. I will play your game then, but I'll be doing some questioning too this time" said the girl while comforting herself for the second time on that bench. She was obviously calmer now. And the incident that took place just before made her more accepting to what would follow.
- "Curious? Yeah. It's not hard not to notice it on you. But impatient too. And it's a pity to be so. All good things take some time. Not that it's sure you will discover good things. So if I may rephrase, all things worth knowing take time to be known. You should relax. You have already missed your university class I believe" he said.
- "How, how do you know I go to the university?" the girl answered surprised completely by his words.
- " It's not that hard to notice as well. You wear sneakers and dressed casually. So you are not heading for a job. As far as I can tell you are no more than 20 years old and you carry a heavy backpack obviously heavy from the books inside it. The university campus is two blocks down this road and you entered the park the opposite direction so I presume you were heading there and thought to satisfy your curiosity by passing through this park. And of course I can see you are a bright young lady. I am sure you would not let yourself out of higher education. Although, a secret that we both know is that this so sought after higher education does not offer much. Right?". Again the man looked as if he was a college tutor, serious and straight. It was barely visible but he had a pinch of uncertainty in his words, as if he was also in search of some answers.
- "Good work mr Know-It-All. You have done a fine detective job. But you missed something. I can still catch that class if I leave now". The girl answered sarcastically but not in a impolite way. Yet it was hard to know whether she was joking or not.
The man slightly tilted his head and smile back to her without saying a word for a while. She smiled back and laughed in the end. She instantly answered "Something which I won't do, cause after all I am seeking for answers. You are lucky though that it's mister Turnback's class today and it's boring as hell". They both bursted into laughter and it was the first time they were both calm and in a friendly mood.
- "I spoke to you about impatience earlier. I don't have to be a fortuneteller to see that in you. The flame of youth comes often with that impatience. But you will be growing old in time and you will realize that it's a great virtue to able to control time. And since no time machine is on the making for the time being, patience is the only way to control time. Only a few minutes have passed since that almost unreal gaze of yours first touched mine entering the park. Still we have not introduced to each other. I don't even know your name. Will you do me the honor?" gently said the man.
- "Well, indeed we are complete strangers but I get to like you. Don't get your hopes up though. Still we will be complete strangers after this but at least we'll know its' others' name. My name is Hope. And yours?" she answered.
- "How fitting? I would have never imagined a name more suitable for you. From what I see Hope, you seem to have kicked away your hopes in this life" said the man.
- "Kicked them? I never had hope. I have been living too long compromising with everything. And now that I have to work and study and between barely sleep and rest, it's almost impossible to think of whatever you mean by "hopes". Life is a struggle, a rat race of the worst kind. My life is no better than that. So please, don't give me those lectures about hope and faith and staying true to dreams. From your outfit you seem quite elegant. Polished shoes,combed hair and an expensive outfit. What are you? A lawyer,a stock broker,some kind of playboy from a rich family who likes pretending a cheap intellect to young girls? What do you even know about hope?". Hope was once again out of her character. She wasn't normally aggressive to others. She was calm, and almost never let herself out of control. She could be thought of a loner, a characteristic she never tried to shatter before the eyes of others. She barely had friends both in university or real life. In a way she always loved her independence and that independence came with a price. A lonely life.
- "Please calm down. I told you. Patience is a virtue. Why don't you simply ask me? You accused me of guessing about you earlier, but you seem to be doing the same. You have to get this temper of yours looked upon. It clouds your judgement. I see potential in you. Why do you allow your flare conceal it?" said the man again as calmly as he could. Contrary to Hope he did not seem to rush with his time. Hope had to think for a while. Her rational mind had to make a plan quickly. Since she believed this would end quickly she was thinking how to make it to the university quickly, catch up to whatever class was left, return home,eat,take a shower, dress up, go to work. By now it was a routine which she never deviated from the past year. Thinking it a little better she had not left herself out of control the past year. It was time for her to do it for the first time. It was a leap of faith cause she was falling into uncharted waters, but all the hurdles she had been over taught her how to swim. So she fell into water and swam. She forgot for a minute her life,her job and her university. For once she had to leave them behind and seize the moment. That man, despite his spiky attitude was already driving her curiosity further with his every sentence.
- "Ok, you probably are right. So let me start over. Tell me your name first?" Hope replied with obvious calmness in her voice now.
- "You seem to hate my mysterious ways, and I find it intriguing to be challenging you. You seem to hate it, but there is more to it than just teasing you or satisfying my strange appetite as you believe so. Let's just say that I can't still reveal my true name to you. So for the sake of continuing our so interesting conversation here, let's say my name is "Morpheus". He seemed to enjoy this sick game, but also seemed to have a plan in the depths of his mind. He was expecting Hope to burst in fury again. He had already that pointy provoking smile on his lips. And he was not wrong.
Hope fell into the trap immediately. -" What is this supposed to mean? I am beginning to get bored of your games" she replied hopelessly.
- "Morpheus was in ancient Greek Mythology the....." began Morpheus to explain with his tutoring face again.
- "Stop it. I know who Morpheus was" Hope interrupted him abruptly. - "I have studied mythology among others myself too. I only want you to be straight to me for once. Oh, now I get it. Patience. Right?. Hope smiled with a cheating look in her eyes.
- "You learn your lessons. It takes you some time but you do learn. So it's settled. For now just call me Morpheus".
- "So what do you do for a living Morpheus? Oh. Wait. Let me guess. You won't reveal that to me too, right?" said Hope.
- "Yeah, I believe my occupation is irrelevant to our conversation" Morpheus replied.
-"And I presume from your attitude, which seems to know everything, that you already know my occupation" Hope said again both challenging him and provoking him. But Morpheus was calm and surprisingly serene. His facial expressions had something human on them but still failed to reveal his feelings. His body language,his steady voice. All of them where hardly revealing anything that would allow Hope to guess his thoughts or the slightest thing that would cross his mind. He was a good actor or a really bad ghost.
Morpheus took a deep breath, looked away and with a provoking smile and a spark in his eyes he replied.
-"As a matter of fact I don't. Nor do I know anything about your studies in university. So please introduce me to both if you like".
-"I am studying ancient literature and cultures. And I work as a graphics artist in an advertising company. Pretty dull, don't you think?"
-"Not at all. Sounds pretty exciting to me. But you make it sound dull. I can't help but wonder though why did you choose to study "ancient literature and cultures". I does not sound like the most prosperous occupation to invest for the future". Morpheus was a good "fisherman". He had laid his bait and now Hope was ready to bite it. He smiled secretly away without letting her know though. Hope was already talking fast.
-"You see, that's the problem. It's higher education and not job preparation. You are supposed to learn something. Become professional to something. Something that you like. Something that you love and would give your self into completely. But the society has formed all this in a fight for a better job. A marathon where the ones who win will get an job as a low paid apprentice with the potential in 40 years to have become an eligible board member with a mansion and a Mercedes parked in the garage. I am not like that. I study something I like. Ancient cultures fascinate me. And when I graduate I might be starving, may never find a job in that section that would pay the bills but I will have graduated happy and proud to have driven down my own path". Hope was in talking spree now. Morpheus could foresee that and he was already laying more tiles for her to walk upon.
-"And what about your job? Tell me more about it". Morpheus' smile was even harder to keep secret anymore. But Hope was so deeply affected by her thoughts that she would not even notice.
-"Don't get me started about this. I am living on my own for two years now. I guess I was lucky to have found it in the beginning of that journey. I can at least pay the rent and the bills but this is as far as it goes. I am only making a living but not actually living anywhere close to well. I am being given small art projects which are usually parts of bigger multinational projects. Usually I have no knowledge of what the bigger project is and frankly not that I really care. I work many hours in many different projects at the same time. Many times I have to take job back home cause my supervisors will push me when the deadline is close. Sometimes I have to work overnight, till early in the dawn to finish all these. And then it's that "Mr M". Why the hell do they call him "Mr M"? What happened to the real name? Nobody seems to have seen him around the company but he seems to have been biggest client our company has ever faced. They say he has lots of money and power. To cut a long story short, that "Mr M" is said to have been sponsoring a campaign. No one knows for sure what it exactly is. But there are some rumors that say he does not advertise a product but some kind of idea. And also rumors have it that he managed to rent all the huge billboards of this city in order to achieve his peculiar plan. If you ask me, that's crap. It's only a publicity stunt which will soon uncover some kind of product he wants to sell and make millions out of. The thing is that this Mr M' is a perfectionist. He really pushes my supervisors who on their turn push me and my colleagues. They asked of all the artists in my department to seize working on their other smaller projects and concentrate only into this "Mr M's" project. They say it's a huge leap for our company. But I hate this "Mr M". They asked from all of us to present him of a set of 10 backgrounds and this "Mr M" would choose himself personally the winning one. And they said that the artist whose set will be chosen will get a great sum of cash and maybe even a promotion to head artist director. I don't believe a word, but if there is any kind of truth to that I really need that cash. They can keep their promotion but that kind of money would really come handy now. Like I said I hate this guy. He already declined personally the collection of 2 sets of mine until now. That makes 20 backgrounds total. Can you imagine? One single background would take me more than two days to complete. That ungrateful man seems also to have rejected all the sets from my colleagues too. He seems to be toying with us. I have sent my last set of 10 backgrounds previous week. I am announcing to my supervisor that I am not playing that game anymore and that this was the last set I have sent and whether he likes it or not I quit. I will concentrate on the rest of my projects. I guess this "Mr M" ain't gonna choose a set at all".
Hope had been so talkative for the first time. Her pain, her complaints about her life were a good reason for her to talk a lot, something which due to her character was very rare. She barely ever talked that much for that long and almost never complained. For those who did not know her she was the ideal of independence and self preservation. But it was not quite like this. She always had deep roots in her mind. She was thinking in an extraordinary way but it was something she'd never show. All those enquiries she had in mind, she kept them deep inside only for her. She was alone now in life. Stranded in a difficult and demanding way of life. And she had left aside all her thoughts,fears and expectations for the sake of survival. She had to do it. It felt the only way of surviving this jungle. But every night she had guilts. In her dreams she would see the days she was a young girl. She would remember her pure imagination and her positive spirit. She felt sad she let go of it. But she had to survive. And only the strong survive, the weak perish.
-" Did you make a wish today?" Morpheus jumped out of subject.
-" You said you were interested about my job. What does this have to do with it?" Hope sharply replied.
-"Some questions are meant not to be answered and some answers come only when you stop asking. Our jobs occupy 8 hours of our life. But our thoughts occupy our whole space, the whole of the time. Even when we work or sleep we can't escape of two things. Our thoughts and our fears. Even those so important feelings we have, they are not always present. While listening to you telling me about your job and your life I noticed that nostalgia you so effectively manage to hide. Something is bothering. You know that something in your life is not right and you fight it as hard as you can. You feel that something is not right but you try to deny it. And the way I see it, you can face such situations with two ways. 1) Keep running without looking behind 2) Stop, turn around, smile back to your past and walk backwards. The second is the hardest, cause you don't see what's coming. It is easy to stumble and fall. It is even easier to get hurt cause all the dangers lurking are not visible. But you always keep track of all that passed this way. You see them, even in the depths of the horizon. And seeing them makes you value them. This way you remember all the friends you made and lost, all the heartaches, all the mistakes. But you also see yourself. You see what you did wrong and you smile on what felt doing right. And surely, you don't always take what you deserve in life, but make sure that you give to others what they deserve." Morpheus gave the impression he could go on like this forever. Hope was listening to him with her attention undivided. She already knew all these. She wasn't much different. But she was scared to admit it.
-" To answer your question. No, I did not make a wish today. Are wishes so important? They just give you false hope.". Hope's answers was drenched in grief. It wasn't right to say it, but she had to make herself believe it.
-" There is no false hope. There is only hope. We make it sound false because we are afraid of hope. We are afraid it might never see the day of light, that it might hurts us in the end. Animals don't hope for their food. They go out there and find it. And when they don't they die and that's all. But humans unlike animals are much different. There are things that we can't do.There are things that we can't do alone. There are things that we can only achieve by the help of that power we call "God". And most importantly there are those things we cannot do alone cause we need another person to help us. Strangely we'd ask from God things. Things like health or money or a better life. But we'd ask from a human only to be by our side. An animal who died in search for food is nothing else but a dead animal. A human being who died hoping for what his heart desired is more than alive." Morpheus had become completely serious by these words. Not a lecturer or a tutor anymore. Something was strange about him. We was sharp and straight and almost robotically capable to hide his feelings. What was extremely well hidden was the fact that he said those words with sorrow. As if he had experienced every moment of what he said. Almost as if he was living moments of his past. He was not a robot. He was human. And human feelings can't be hidden. Hope was staring at him now. Nothing was relaxed anymore. There was tension. Both of them were not sitting comfortably on the bench. Something had changed for both. Morpheus took a deep breath and continued talking.
-" Every wish you make - from the smallest insignificant to the wildest dream- is a small prayer. Only those with pure heart pray. The rest simply act. Only those with pure heart are able to wait. The rest quit. Only those with pure heart are willing to risk losing. The rest try to exploit those who take risks. I can see in your eyes that you know what I am talking about. Don't be shy or modest about it. If you know what I mean you are part of this "elite" group of people. I am sure you have kept your past hidden somewhere. In your mind possibly, but as far as I know, people like you, people of this "elite" group find the connection in their past through items they can touch and relate to. I am sure somewhere in a drawer or a dusty attic your past awaits you. Memories contain a part of the dreams you feared to make true. That part you chose to forget. But it's there, isn't it?" Morpheus wasn't that serious looking and sounding guy anymore. He let his guard down. He let himself be completely transparent in case Hope wanted to see with her eyes what his point was all the way. He was expecting for Hope to ask him questions about him, about how he knew all these and what all those meant. But Hope had her own problems to deal with. She gathered all the confidence she could find and asked Morpheus.
-" Why are you telling me all these? Why are you lecturing me like this? Hope desperately asked.
-" Wish I knew why?" he replied with a nod that revealed question too.
And suddenly what followed was complete silence. Everything turned black and white for both of them. On one side there was that girl which this man seemed to have put more hopes that she'd ever dare to do for herself. And on the other side a man who was supposed to be able to control himself, yet had showed some strange human feelings. Now he seemed more vulnerable than ever. He seemed confused too and that with no obvious reason. And he seemed to go deeper into that the more he was interacting with that girl. Silence must have lasted for an eternity again. But this time it was different. They both did not care about the colors, the scenery or what was happening around. Morpheus spoke first.
-" Come with me, let's take a walk. We need some fresh air. Both of us". He stood up and Hope followed him without saying a single word. They began walking forward down the narrow park pathway. Hope could not help but ask him.
-" What's happening with you? You look and sound different. You don't only lecture me. You lecture yourself too, ain't that right?". For the first time Hope had felt compassion for that man. He was fragile now. She did not know why or what suddenly had changed him but she found herself wanting to help him too as much as he seemed to try to help her. Morpheus sighed letting all the the air out of his lungs and talked.
-" We all have our secrets. Even those we keep only from ourselves. Secrets have a devastating power though. When you keep them well hidden they can kill you on the inside. And sometimes when find the courage to whisper them, they have the power to hurt others. There are times you think you can keep a secret forever inside you. You think you can tame it, come in terms with it, reason it. But the truth is that harmony does not last forever. Just like spring passes to winter and makes the beautiful flowers wither. "
-" Don't let those secrets haunt you forever. It's what you do with them that matters. Make them a teacher and not a punisher" Hope replied calmly and now she was the one giving lessons. She knew what he was talking about. She could almost feel him despite the fact that he would surely not reveal his secrets. Yet she'd do her best to help him.
-"Tell me about your dreams when you were young? You seem to understand my words so I believe deep inside there there is something you managed to suppress through the years." said Morpheus.
-"Don't you think I am privileged of some secrets too. Some things belong to the past and they ought to stay there. I think I understand now all the things you taught me. All the things you tried to teach me. I am thankful you did. You are a stranger to me yet you dared something not even those close to me ever dared. I was overreacting earlier and it seems it was my mistake to do so. I don't know why you do it, I don't know what you gain from it but I am thankful nevertheless. If you'd like to meet again, I think I could even call you my friend". Hope was seeing clearer now. This man wasn't a threat. He had strange ways but who doesn't anyway. She was looking him deep in his eyes. She could look through others by looking in their eyes. And this man was not lying nor was pretending. That was something she always valued to a person. Morpheus interrupted her thoughts.
-"I don't think we'll meet again soon. But a friend is a friend whether you see him every day or never again. A friend is not someone who occupies your time. A friend is the one who occupies a place in your heart. I guess it's time to say goodbye. I think it's my fault you missed your class today, but as a matter of fact you'd never go there anyway". Morpheus laughed at his remark and Hope too. They had walked all the way to the exit of the the park. It was true. It was time to say goodbye.
-"I won't ask you why you say I'd miss my class anyway. You seem to know more than you tell me. Yeah. It's time for goodbyes. I think I won't ever forget what you taught me today. And even when the mind forgets the heart has a great way to remind you. Oh, but wait. I almost forgot to ask you in the first place. How did you manage to come in my dream tonight. I saw you in my dream, sitting exactly as you did waiting for me. That's why I deviated off my course and passed through the park. I was 99% sure it was my stupid illusions again, that I would just waste my time." Morpheus was now smiling again. He opened his arms wide, like an angel who spreads his wings before he flies back to heaven.
-"That one 1% is always fascinating when it comes true, isn't it? And illusions are never stupid. If you manage to create an illusion, if you manage to maintain it and still live in balance with all that's happening in your real life, if you manage to hold on that illusion, isn't that a wish? A dream? Your world and only your world? Isn't that what authors and directors do? Don't they make their illusion visible to others? Better. Not visible. Aren't they creating a world of their imagination so that others may enter? Imagine that power brought into the real world. The world changes by illusions. And it changes by those illusions of the ones who walked a step further when everything around them told them to go back. Be proud of your illusions, they can change your world. They can change the worlds of those you care about". Morpheus was heading for the exit. He did not fly like an angel. But surely he brought peace in Hope's mind. She had no reason to doubt him. He seemed to had known enough. Enough to be a helping hand. She had forgotten that she had given up on herself lately. And this man reminded her who she really was. Reminded her what she was worth and how capable she was. Things she managed to hide away even from her own self.
-"Pfff. Yeah, that's what authors actually do" she sighed with despair. Morpheus had already walked far from her. She failed to notice cause she was knee deep in million thoughts that were squeezed in her mind so unexpectedly . She finally realized he was actually fleeing from the scene. She shouted towards him.
-"Wait, you did not tell me how you managed to get in my dream tonight. How is it possible that I saw you in there before I even met you in real life?". Morpheus was walking away without answering nor giving any sign that he would answer. She shouted louder.
-"STOP for a minute. At least tell me how did you know I would come here today in the first place. You said you had been waiting for me.". Morpheus still left her hanging there. Again not a single clue that he would answer. Hope kept watching him moving away. She could run after him. She could ask him for more time. She could press him for answers. She was puzzled. She needed those answers. She was curious by nature. She realized that all her life she was living for answers. And now just realized that while seeking the answers she created more questions. She laughed as hard and loud as she could. "Some questions are meant not to be answered and some answers come only when you stop asking" Morpheus had told her earlier. Finally she understood that. Morpheus even if he could not hear her deafening laugh would surely had sensed her laughing. She had finally realized everything. She was laughing with all her heart by now. Morpheus without having stopped walking away turned his head and laughed back at her. She shouted to him from afar, with the most sincere and happy face she had for years.
-"You won't tell me anything, right?".
-"No, I WON'T" he answered and bursted into laughs too as he was vanishing around the corner. Hope opened her arms widely, as if she was an angel spreading her wings and ready to fly to heaven. She closed her eyes and started spinning out of balance. She yelled with all her might. She didn't care anymore if anyone saw,listened or even judged her.
-"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE" she said and the sun was bleaching her whole body. The temperature was rising and her blood was boiling now. She began sweating and the light was blinding her closed eyes, to a point where it became annoying.
Finally she could no more see anything due to the bright light. With a sudden move she stood up in bed. All her covers fell on the floor. She was covered in sweat. The previous night she had forgotten the blinds of the windows wide open. It was already midday and the warm rays of the spring sun had raised the room temperature high.She got terrified. For a moment she could not realize where she was. She stood there motionless and speechless.
-"Damn it, it was only a dream" she shouted to herself loudly. Dizzy as she was she stepped down the bed. She looked at her alarm clock.
-"Damn it, I overslept. DAMN IT." she said again. And then like a thunder which hits the earth, something crossed her mind."I think it's my fault you missed your class today, but as a matter of fact you'd never go there anyway" Morpheus had told her in her dream. She could not believe in herself by now. She tried to rationalize herself and disregard what she had witnessed just then. The previous day she would had said "It's only a dream" but despite the millions of thoughts that made her try to say the same her heart was telling her that it was all true. She was finally fighting reason over illusions. And she was happy about it. She laughed again and this time it was for real. "You are lucky though that it's mister Turnback's class today and it's boring as hell" had told to Morpheus in the dream. It was not far from reality. Finally she did not feel guilty having skipped her class. She had never missed a class until now. Nor had she ever missed one single day from work -"Time to skip class for once, it's no big deal" said to herself. -"At least I won't miss work" said again to herself as she turned back to the alarm clock. She had forgotten already what time it was.
-"DAMN IT. I'll miss job too" she could not stop laughing though. -"Oh well. I don't care anymore" she said to herself with a wide smile across her face while remembering her dream. She pretended lazy for the first time. Did everything as if it was Sunday. She did not rush. She took a shower, she put on comfortable clothes, combed her hair and walked in the small kitchen of her even smaller flat. It was coffee time. Not the usual coffee time where she'd grab her mug and walk out in a rush. She was determined to take it slow. Morpheus had taught her that the only way to control time is by patience. Morpheus? It was that dream that completely changed her day. She stopped denying it. She accepted it. Maybe that was a sign or maybe not. Whatever it was she did not care. She did things her way today. But differently from any other "her way" she had tried in the past. And it felt great doing so.
Hope prepared her coffee and sat comfortably in the kitchen table. The window was facing straight to the side where the sun was shinning. She should had closed the blinds she thought, but she didn't. She let the sun enter her life. At first she did not notice. She was only enjoying the scenery from the small but in an elevated position flat. She could see the whole city extending far to the horizon. She enjoyed the view. She wasn't paying any attention to small things like that lately. While doing so the sun moved behind the huge skyscraper before her. It was the company she was working for. The top floors had been her torture chambers. She had forgotten about work. Nobody had called her on the phone yet. It felt strange. Her supervisor should had been all over her by now since she did not show up. While the sun was hiding behind the tall and large building she noticed something which the sun's brightness had been hiding all along. The huge advertising billboard her company had been using. She was petrified to find that one of the backgrounds she had created was there. With all the fuss she forgot that today was "Mr M's" unveiling of his new campaign. "That's why nobody noticed my absence" she murmured and laughed for another time. But this was not all to her surprise. She did not even pay attention to what this campaign was about. The only thing that was written on the billboard seemed familiar. Huge letters artistically placed over the background she had created. It was saying:
"AND WHAT ABOUT THAT DREAM OF YOURS?"
-"This can't be. I can't believe it's true". Hope remembered once again that these were the first words she uttered when she saw Morpheus on that bench. She did not have to convince herself to believe anymore. She simply believed. She did not have to rationalize for a moment. She simply smiled and laughed with all her heart. -"Be it illusions or not, I will damn surely have a great time with it Morpheus" she said loudly wishing Morpheus was around to hear her. Her heart was beating fast but her breath was steady. She then noticed something else at the far back of the scenery. She was staring to yet another billboard. She could not read the words on it, but once again she could identify the background. It was another one of the last set she had created for "Mr M's" campaign. She spoke her thoughts loudly again making sure Morpheus would had heard had he been around.
-"You crazy man. You are full of surprises". She knew what she had to do by now. She had to find other 9 billboards around the city. Her backgrounds were all around the town and she only had to discover what it was written on each on of them. Luckily for her, due to her job she always noticed the graphical implementation on every billboard of the city. That gave her ideas sometimes. And due to this she also knew most of the locations of the billboards placed around the city. She was sure about it. She only had to find another 9. The treasure hunt had began and she was foolishly excited about it. She felt again the young girl she used to be. The young, carefree, full of hopes and dreams girl she was some years back. She loved being this. She loved that she had become this again. She would not care what other people said for her again. She'd do whatever she could not to hurt anybody with her attitude but if things turned ugly in the end she'd not regret it too. She was on her own again physically but she had her twin sister by her side and into her mind. She was Hope and her sister was Faith.
Hope was ready to embark for this new journey but first she had to find somewhere to write down her-to-be-found treasures. She rushed searching to drawers around the flat. She finally stumbled upon a drawer that hadn't been used for a while. It was at the bottom of her wardrobe. She opened it only to find a real mess inside. But that mess was her life. Pictures of her childhood,family and her old boyfriend. Small notes from school,tokens and lucky charms. Her old pendant, a scarf from when she young and among this mess her notebook. She had written inside this notebook literally every thought she had done all these years. She wrote every thought, every feeling and everything interesting. Hope had always had the dream of becoming a writer. She believed that this notebook would be priceless some day. And despite it had so many interesting things written on it, this notebook progressively ended in a dusty drawer almost forgotten for ever. She could feel her eyes wet and her heart was beating fast again. How could she had left herself forget of all these? But this was not a suitable time for remembering what was past. She grabbed the notebook. It had one last blank page on the back. It was enough. She grabbed a pen from her desk as well and run like crazy out of her flat. She was happy. She was free. She was herself again. It felt great.
After 3 hours of endless running she had collected all the information she could from the billboards around the city. There were more than she could had imagined but luckily most of them were the same. That campaign was enormous indeed. But although repeated many times the unique messages summed up to the number 10, just as she had foreseen. All of these somehow made sense finally. She had run a great distance around the city and she could not use public transportation in case she missed something. And now she stopped to catch a breath. She was standing under the great arch of the park she was in her dream in.
-"Of course. Could it be any other way?", she said laughing to that again to that twist. She stepped in the park and walked to the bench she had met Morpheus in her dream. He wasn't there. For a moment she was sure he would come. But she knew she did not need him anymore. She had dreamed of him within a dream. What he had done was enough. After all, the rest had to be done only by herself. She spoke her thoughts loud again, as if Morpheus could hear her.
-"That coffee you were saying about? It would come in handy now. I think I'll be here for some time. Thank you Morpheus. Thank you." Hope was now holding her notebook inside her hands. She checked the back page for the words she had gathered. She knew them already by heart, but she felt like reading them again all-together. No surprise again. She had heard those recently.
1) "And what about that dream of yours?"
2) "Don't make life complicated with questions and whys"
3) "Did you see anything?"
4) "Patience is the only way to control time"5) "Did you make a wish today?"
6) "We all have our secrets. Even those we keep only from ourselves"
7) ""Some questions are meant not to be answered and some answers come only when you stop asking"
8) " Memories contain a part of the dreams you feared to make true"
9) "Stop, turn around, smile back to your past and walk backwards."
10) " Every wish you make is a small prayer
Hope had read again and again those words. And then she began quickly looking through all her notebook. She was sorry she had left all these behind. But what she had left behind finally followed her all this time. Like a faithful dog who would never leave the side of his boss. The side of his friend. She had lost track of time. Not that she actually cared anyway. Her serenity was only broken when her phone rang. She looked at the screen. It was her supervisor calling her. She answered but the truth is she was not in the mood for any of she was about to tell her. But instead of his bossy usual tone she could hear music and loud voices from inside. After a while she focused only to hear him strangely cheerful.
-"Hope? Where the hell have you been? Nobody can find you around the office complex. This unveiling party is awesome. Everybody's celebrating our success. "Mr M." is completely satisfied both from the campaign and its' launch. We made it. And guess what? Your work was the one chosen. Can you believe it? Where are you? Come here, there is much to celebrate. And a fat check is waiting for you."
-"I am not around you know. I didn't come to work today" Hope replied with complete boredom in her voice.
-"Who cares? Come here immediately. We are being offered to co-operate with the biggest heads of advertising industry. Our company is gonna become huge." he supervisor answered and he sounded like a child in a candy store.
-"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You know. I think I will enjoy the day a little more today. I will come tomorrow then. I need that check and I think I will be handing you my resignation tomorrow as well. Let me put it as politely as I can. I QUIT. But talking about cooperation. Surely I have nothing against it. Find me your best artists. I am going to need some work done on the illustration of the BOOK I am writing when tomorrow comes. As for today?". Hope did not finish her phrase. She hang up and that smiled brightly satisfied for what the day had brought her. She stood up,turned around and started walking backwards. She was free.
