About Goodbyes...

     Such a profound and much said cliche. We've heard it so many times in the movies. "I hate goodbyes" or "I was never good at goodbyes". I would call it an irony myself. How can it be called "good-bye" when in most of the cases it is not "good" at all. Yet it is said so often. More often than it should be. In every day life we say goodbyes many times. Leaving from work, leaving the house, leaving the neighborhood. What is bothering my mind in this article though is the other way of saying goodbye. It's the goodbye used as a means of decision. The goodbye which brings an end to a situation. There is one common factor in goodbyes. Their severity and impact is variably dependent from the impact the "hellos" had in us in the first place.
     
     Either being a person or a situation, a goodbye means the end of something. The end of an era. The dark side of it means that you have to say goodbye to a happy or pleasant situation (let's face it, we never say goodbye when after a fight we leave the house furious banging the door behind us). It means that we have to forget, or at least make confront without these pleasant situations in the future. The goodbye is a final decision. A turning point. Good or bad a goodbye is usually the final frontier. It seems normal. But in retrospect it's hard for me to remember many times being said goodbye. And it's funny cause I've been abandoned many times in my whole life. Probably that's the downslide of a goodbye. The fact that it is final. Maybe it is in the human nature not to take terminal decisions. Maybe that's why we are not easily saying goodbye. Cause in the end, in our minds (and I guess only in there), we leave a tiny window open for reconciliation. True, goodbyes are bad like I said. But sometimes they are also needed. It has always been better to say goodbye and kill each doubt in the minds of others, than let them hanging from that thin thread of hope. Hah. A return from a final goodbye will always remain sweeter. Also true is that there are cases (most of the time) where there is no turning back from a goodbye. That's the whole purpose of it after all. The worst kind of goodbyes though is the ones never said with words, but meant on the inside, and experienced even deeper inside. The ones where separation is indeed final, but there is no words to justify it. In other words the silent deep hurting goodbyes.

     Strange as it may seem, there is also a bright side in goodbyes. Apart from signaling an end, a goodbye can also mean a new beginning. Likewise, as much we humans need the goodbyes, that much we also need the new beginnings. It would be impossible to start all over again if we did not have the power to goodbye the old situations. And it would surely be awkward too. Starting over and over new things and experiences without ending the previous. Without waving goodbye to the bad (or good) memories. 
   
     It really reminds me the circle of day and night. None can live while the other is still thriving. Yet if one the the two ruled completely then life would really be boring and strange. Goodbyes are like the day and night. Sometimes you have to say them and move on. Sometimes you have to hold back and reconsider. After all there is always the dawn and the sunset, where day and night become one!!!!

Who's the luckier of all???

     One night the caravan stopped for rest on a small city somewhere in the mountains. It was the caravan of a moving circus which would perform every week in a different city. It was dark and cold so everybody gathered around the bonfire, to drink and get warmer. They had been together for a lifetime,working in this circus for almost their whole life. No body was really in the mood for talking because of their journey the past three days. The sound of the crackling fire was the only sound that broke the silence all over the camp. 


     - "I wonder who is the luckiest of you famous performers" said one of the carriers. - "I believe the animal trainer is the luckiest of you".


     - "Sure I get to work with animals. But animals are my friends. The tigers and the lions are not beasts as most of you think. I hate to treat them like I do. I have to whip them to make them obey. I have to let them starving for days for them to behave. I have to imprison them and treat them unfairly every week when we are on stage and perform. I am not happy doing my job, by bringing pain to the animals who have been my companions for so long", said the animal tamer.

     - "Then the acrobat is the luckiest of you. People always admire him with awe", said the same carrier.                                                                    


     - "People often admire my acrobatic skills. They like the sense of danger. And I give them what they need when I am hanging 20 meters over the ground, doing my acrobatics.  But my whole body is strained. I have to train hard 3 hours per day just for a 20 minute show per week. My bones are sore, and my muscles so tensed that could anytime collapse. And above all, despite the applause in the end, I fear each and every show simply because if I lose my concentration for a minute I will fall to my death. No, I am not lucky. I am terrified of each performance", said sadly the acrobat. 


     - "Then the magician is the luckiest of you all. He makes all those tricks with his hands",said once again the carrier.


     - "People are thrilled by my tricks. They believe that I am a real magician. They applause me or get scared of me. But the truth is that I am simply an illusionist. I deceive people, by using tricks not impossible or unachievable. I only use tricks that are hard to comprehend.  Tricks that the eye can't see. On the inside I am nothing more than an impostor who tricks the audience to believe what it wants to believe. I might seem glamorous and wise on the outside, but on the inside I am as insecure as everybody else, and sometimes even more than that.", said the illusionist.


     - "Then the clown must be the luckiest of you all. He is always smiling, even now that we don't perform", said happily the carrier like he had finally found his answer.

     - "You can see me act abnormally. I play with balls. I tumble over and fall. I wear those colorful clothes, that red nose and that oversized shoes. I make children laugh. I even make adults laugh with my clumsy ways. You see me smile all the time. Do you think it's easy. I am human, and I don't laugh all the time. But I have to pretend the smiley person, even when inside me I cry like a little child. And my smile is not true. I am sad. I am unhappy inside. I have problems but no one can or wants to see them. Cause I wear make up. I wear that big long smile on my face, just to hide the pain that roams inside me", said with a sigh of pain.                                                                     


     - "This can't be the truth. You can't all of you be unhappy. You are all top performers. Everybody attends the circus only to see you. I am only a carrier. I carry things around so that you can do your tricks. I work all day for the stage to be ready, and when you perform instead of relaxing I stay behind the stage and admire you. You can't be unhappy!!!", said the carrier with despaired voice.


     - "I AM THE LUCKIER OF THEM ALL", said a voice. The sound was coming from a dark corner. A man had been waiting in the shadows for so long, listening to their conversation. But nobody had noticed of his presence. The man stepped forward, so his wrinkled face was lit by the burning fire. It was the manager of the circus. He was the owner, the responsible for the financial, the one who took care of the next show. But he was like a shadow. He didn't often appear in public. He refrained from any social interaction. He spend most of his time in his own wagon locked away from the rest of the circus and the world. He gazed at all the faces of those gathered around that fire and began telling a story with a strange disappointment in his look.


     - "20 years ago when my wife died, I was devastated. I was broken and despaired. I was a directing manager of a company back then. I am sure nobody of you knew that. I had money and a great career ahead. But life took away from me the only thing that money will never buy. Life took away the most precious thing I had. My wife died of a decease which could not be healed, despite the fact that I visited the most famous doctors. It was meant to happen this way. Losing her, left me with no more desire to live anymore. So I quit my job. I sold my house and my valuables, and with all the money I had I bought this circus. I wanted to give to the people and the children of the world what was violently taken from me. I wanted to give them joy and smile, even when I knew that those two would fade by the time the passed the exit door. All of you have been together with me for 20 years. I have barely spoken with most of you. You think of me as a stranger, but I secretly watch and admire each of your performance. You have been a family to me all those years. You have been friends,children,family and colleagues to me. You never complain about your hardships. You never asked for a raise even though what I pay you is not much. You never abandoned my circus even when you were given the chance to work in bigger and better ones. You have grown old, and I have grown even older You spent 20 years of your precious youth in my circus. And no matter how hard the circumstances were you always stood for my circus. Not my circus anymore. This is and always be OUR circus. I told you before. I AM THE LUCKIEST OF YOU ALL. Because I have you all with me"...


     
The manager's eyes were filled with tears. He hugged separately every single one of his "colleagues" and got lost into the shadows, mysteriously, just like he had appeared.

The Butterfly................Effect!!!!

     I am amazed by the fact that I even remember this incident. Sometimes, the most puny and insignificant things are preserved in our memories just like prehistoric mosquitos remain perfectly untouched inside amber. Actually some things are meant to be remembered by us. Some things come to us, and stay in our memories cause they are important for reasons we can't predict beforehand. If only we could have our eyes open to all those little things, then we'd find a road to greatness. It's been exactly a year. I remember it though like it was yesterday.


    I was broken, by a very sad situation. I used to spend my whole day outside on our porch. I was listening  to music, writing down on my laptop, gazing the stars, writing lyrics and songs with my guitar,admiring the great view of the nature beyond our porch. Above all I was drown in a strange mixture of sorrow with disappointment and indifference . 2-3 nights I got totally drunk only to find out that getting drunk serves nothing. This kept happening for 2 whole months. Work in the morning and then spending time on that porch until 4 in the morning (insomnia was firstly introduced to me that period and became such a great friend until today). Sometimes my mind would wonder for hours (literally), only to return back to my body for material reasons. At the time, I would question everyone and everything. I was searching for logical answers to questions that were illogical by nature. I wanted to understand the reasons of the pain I felt, and I was trying to figure out ways to escape. But no one can escape the inevitable even if he can see it coming.

     It was 10 in the morning. For another night I had slept only for three hours. I had seen the dawn from the window of my room at 7 the same night. I had a day off from work. So I would naturally sleep until the time I had decided to wake up. Not that day though. Outside my window there was a heavy storm taking place. The raindrops would furiously hit the glass of my window. And the wind was viciously blowing outside making it impossible for me to sleep any more. So, since I was used to small portions of sleep per day, I decided to stand up. I walked to my computer, chose a collection of soothing and relaxing ambient music and turned the volume to the max. At the time nobody was at home so no one would be disturbed. The music could be heard all over the house. Since I was rudely awaken I needed some coffee. I prepared myself a glass of strong coffee (Greek Frappe rules) to overcome the absence of sleep and walked outside to our porch. No logical man would stay outside while a storm was on it's peak. I was no ordinary nor a reasonable man those days.


     I silently admired the storm for long. I enjoyed the lightnings which would give light to the moody colors of the clouds. I let the rain touch me. I was protected under that porch, but when the wind changed direction, many raindrops would soak me. And I loved it. Under that situation I realized one thing. Everybody is afraid of the rain. We will do anything to hide when it starts to rain. From raincoats and umbrellas to locking ourselves under a roof so that no water can touch us. Strangely, nature acts the same way too. When the storms begin all the creatures are hidden. No bugs or insects. No cats or dogs. No birds or any other creature will step outside its' nest when it is raining. And those unlucky to be forgotten outside they search for shelter as soon as possible. Rain brings panic even to nature and it surely empties the cities and the fields and mountains. Yeah. Rain. The reason for universal brotherhood.


     The fact that I had been staring at a rainy scenery for some time had allowed my troubled mind to wonder off to some positive and beautiful thoughts. But those thoughts were interrupted by a strange image.I escaped that optimistic trance when something passed before of my eyes. I had to focus on a small flying object. That little thing was gliding through the air. It was maneuvering between the thick raindrops, without it being very successful in doing it though. It had not gone far. I stood up and reached for it. I was flying back and forth my previous and my current position. It was a butterfly. An astonishingly beautifully mesmerizing butterfly. It was quite bigger thanthe ones I used to see around. All I could see were its' colored wings. Like someone had mixed some colors on a canvas. In fact not even a professional painter would be able to find such a proportionally correct balance in the colors. A perfect circle was painted in each of those paper thin wings. The circles had a light blue color while the rest of the wings were coated with a bright yellow shade. The were also some spots and lines all over the wings, in red and green. For the first time in my life I had noticed that although the paintings in each butterfly are different, on the same butterfly those paintings are completely identical to both wings.


     The poor little creature kept on flying forward and backwards. I was standing in the middle of our yard. Soaked to the bone from the rain, watching a butterfly suffering from the pouring rain. I thought of capturing her and providing shelter for it until the storm faded. But I could not do it. Such a beautiful creation should never be captured, not even for a single second. After all the life span of a butterfly is limited, and captivity is not a proper way to live that short life. Funnily it would not abandon the area and me. I was waiting for it to fly away so that I would take my turn to get in the house. It continued repeatedly flying the same route. I had made a pact with myself not to leave until the butterfly left first. It seemed that the same pact had be made from both sides cause it would not abandon me too. I was a human. The worst that could happen to me was a cold. But for the butterfly it was a struggle for survival. It could be swept away by the wind at any given moment.  Or dragged down by the rain or collapse under the weight of its' wet wings.

     Since the creature was stubborn enough to risk it's existence just to fulfill my pact, I stood there in the middle of the a rainstorm trying not to move much so that I would not scare it away. Thankfully there was no one around to see me standing in the rain. I would surely be "advised" if not ordered, to walk inside the house, not to catch a cold or even worse pneumonia. I would not do it,as long as I had a partner doing the same for me. Inevitably I got to notice more about that newly made friend. It was flapping its' wings continuously but it did not move fast. In fact it would take much effort from it to move just 1-2 meters. It would sometimes go higher just to dive back again. It would be moved aside by wind and then it would require double the energy and time to return back to it's starting point. And that movement of the wings was a desperation. No rhythm. They would randomly go up and down just to maintain the balance. I remembered how elegantly the birds fly. From the eagle and the hawk to the little canary and the sparrow, all the birds fly like pros. They can glide high and dive fast with surgical precision. I remembered the anatomy of the birds. Feathers and a tail for orientation and aerodynamic shape. Light body and hollow bones so that they can be as light as possible. But this butterfly, which was fighting to barely move forward had none of these. It only had some big wings shaped in a non flight friendly shape. There were no muscles or bones. Just a clumsy little bulk of beauty. That tiny creature was not born to fly. That was for sure. It was born to present it's beauty. Where birds could present their flying skills, it could easily land on a branch and be admired from the whole animal kingdom for it's breathtaking beauty. But it did not choose this way of living. Where all the birds were hidden due to the severity of the storm, that creature with the pitiful way of flying, was trying to survive. It could have been waiting in the safety of a dry place. Only the butterfly knew the reasons for what it was attempting, nevertheless it was still daring something which in other cases would had been a suicide.


      Time had flown so quickly. I had already lost the sense of time being charmed and at the same time sympathized by the butterfly's abnormal behavior. Rain would not even bother me anymore. I got used to the feeling of the blessing called rain. I was deeply intrigued by that brave butterfly. Much more than I had been intrigued by human behaviors that period. Usually we see those "bugs" flying over green fields and rolling rivers. Over fantastically created sceneries and mind blowing landscapes. The ideal of a butterfly was lying in the fact that it was flying beside me, inside an environment unfriendly even for a "mighty" human. I followed again the lifeline of my pet-friend. It was possible that it had learned to fly not many days before, due to their short lives. It could have even learned to fly the very same day it was risking its' life staying with me. Self sufficient and beautiful creature. That beauty. It was a product of one of the most mysterious transformations in nature. A disgusting caterpillar (in most cases), becomes an attracting colorful butterfly. But the "metamorphosis" of the butterfly is not only happening for admiration. A caterpillar is nothing more than slow moving, ugly earthworm. Its' only purpose is feeding and survival. Yet that "useless" bug ends up begetting wings, and the ability to fly. Also it becomes a subject for jealousy (if ever animals could have human emotions) between the other insects and  animals.


      I thought that me and my friend would go on for ages playing with each others desire for company. But as suddenly as that small rascal had entered my life, that quickly it was lost. Like it had found some secret energy inside it, it flew away. It got mixed with the scenery and soon was out of my sight. It reminded me of human interactions. They never last. Cause there is always someone who tries for the best of both, and someone who abandons you for "his" best. At least it wasn't me who was an oath breaker. How could it be possible?? I felt the feeling of desertion. I was left alone by a butterfly and I felt lonely. The truth is that I had always been lonely. It was the company of that flying friend that forced me to forget that. I was still getting pounded by raindrops. Little did I care anymore. I did not abandon my post. I sat down on the ground, trying to win myself back. The encounter with the butterfly left me thinking again. For a strange reason I found my self mirrored in the wings of that butterfly. I was the butterfly. Not only because I was sitting now, on a puddle of water under the wrath of the heavy with water clouds. I was that butterfly for my whole life.I had been fighting for a whole lifetime for my dreams, even when the others were telling me that there were no dreams to fight for. I had always been the one who would swim against the current for what he believed. And like that butterfly I would not quit even when the odds were all against me. I had been alone, like butterflies do. And in terms of REAL life, I was useless like a butterfly. I was not born to "fly" like the rest of the over-pompous workaholic Phd bearers. I was born to do something completely useless (like the butterfly), which was utterly necessary for me though. I was born to dream.

      I didn't feel pity for that creature. I did not feel any feelings. It could have been already dead, drifted afar by the storm. But it had lived free. That short life that was gifted to it, was more than worthy. And in the end it had achieved one big and noble thing. For its' size and it's destiny that colorful butterfly was a hero. A legend among the butterflies. With these on my mind, I finally found a reason to get inside. I did pay attention to my drenched clothes, and my dirty look. Little did they matter. I had met a friend that day. A friend who taught me to fight for what I was believing even if that was against my nature. Even when that seemed impossible. If a butterfly could defy the laws of nature, then surely I could defy the nature of laws (those unwritten laws that people create to degrade your dreams). Something small, gave to my dreaming such a great boost that day.

Free my soul....

- "I want to free my soul", said the young boy.

- "You are too young for that. You are still a child. Your soul is free. You can do anything you want. You can have anything you ask", said his father.

- "Don't you have everything you wanted father?", the child replied.

- "Of course I do. I have a bright son. I woman who loves me and I love too. I have a big house. A dog. An expensive car. I have a good job. I have everything I need. Everything we need".

- "Look at you dad. You are 55 years old and all your life you've been working hard to offer us a comfortable life. But what happened to your life dad? What happened to your dreams?. I want to fly free dad. I want to free my soul".

- "You are too young to be thinking of these things. You have a bright future waiting for you. You just can't go dreaming around.".

- "Icarus, was young also dad. And his father restrained him like you do now".

- "Icarus disobeyed his father's advice,boy. And he got killed for doing it. He flew close to the sun and his wings got burned".

- "His father gave him the wings he had crafted to help Icarus and himself fly safely. But Icarus flew free dad. He touched the sun. He felt the wind while falling. He touched the sea and got drown in it. But he was free. It's better to LIVE as an icarus for a moment dad, than living like Daedalus for a lifetime".....

Till death...do us apart

     Exactly three weeks ago,I had embarked for a strange journey. I left my beloved hometown and moved for two weeks in a completely different environment. The reason was simple. I was searching for answers. Answers I could not find otherwise. I spent two weeks doing exactly the opposite things that my character was used to. In this journey I had to discover myself. But you can never find yourself if you do not look first where you stand among the others. So being a stranger in that town I spent many hours of my day,walking and blending in with the "natives". I watched carefully their moves, their reactions, their way of living. They were normal people living normal lives, and I was the one who was researching their normality. In a way I did a psychoanalysis by observation.


     My verdict has many legs. I found many things to analyze and learned many many more. But I was shocked mostly by a single picture. Inevitably I had to extend my research to a place where a great number of people would attend. What's better than a mall? So I spend a whole day at the mall watching,observing,taking notes and thinking about the reactions of everything I could find. In a corner of the mall, there was a cafeteria. A place where everybody would rest and have a snack. I entered the place in search of a refreshment but in the end found something greater.


     While walking into the vicinity of the cafeteria I noticed a senile couple. They were sitting in the front row, almost deserted by the rest of the cafeteria. They were alone there. All the back rows were taken, but they were all alone in the front like some kind of lepers. Thankfully the fact that there was no one around them helped me notice them.. I bought myself a light meal and a soft drink and walked in search of a table to sit. Normally my instinct would lead me also to the back where the crowd was. It would seem more appropriate cause the back was crumbed with youngsters and couples. It would be easier for me to blend with people closer to my age. But this time two contradicting feelings settled in my mind. The one was the feeling of the researcher. For a strange reason this elderly couple intrigued me. The other was an even stranger urge to break my unavoidable full of prejudice habits. With these in mind I decided to sit close to the couple. I picked a table where I was back to back with the old lady of the couple, and I was so close that I could "eavesdrop" on their conversation. From afar it would surely seem like a very peculiar scene. In a place full of couples and "teams" of young people, a man alone on a table close to a couple whose years added together would surely make 4 times his age. And the funnier, they were both surrounded by empty chairs.


     The old man was in a wheelchair. Obviously he was disabled. He seemed to have somewhere about 80% paralysis because his wife was doing all the works for him. She was tenderly feeding him at the time, something which probably couldn't do by himself. And she did it with extreme care. Like she was dealing with a baby. The first thing that came in my mind was simple. They had probably been married for more than 4 decades, judging by their age. But the woman still took care of her man, even though she has also probably been doing it for also 4 decades. Without complaining or asking for return. She was there for her man. I kept wondering. How would that feel? It must take such a great strength of character doing that. So what were their motives? None. There must be no motives in my opinion. It must be love. Pure undivided love. Not the kind that teenagers feel. The real kind of love. The one in which you would die to see your partner happy. So was it love?? I had to put it on a scale and find what weighed more. So taking into consideration every married couple's sayings, passion after certain years (in the best cases) seizes to exist. Then it turns to affection. And affection turns into love. The deep meaningful love of a family member. But somewhere between, there is also hidden the sense of being accustomed to someone. Routine of seeing someone every day. Something like a moral duty to take care of him/her and been taken care of. I wonder if all the married couples had the choice of living their partner without no guilt to be found, how many would actually do it?. Anyway. I tried to listen to the couples conversation. I had the impression that this couple was in a way some kind of a super couple. In my mind I had idolized them. I had carved a statue of them and worshipped them for their tender image. I wanted to believe they were some kind of retired university teachers, who had been intellectual, who had lived love in it's utter expression in their youth, and now they were living their "last years" under the same blessed way. But this wasn't the case. They were not intellectuals (not more than  me and you at least). They were a simple traditional Greek old couple. They seemed to be not something out of the ordinary. And that was far more encouraging. If an ordinary couple could withstand time and conditions so difficult, and in the end taking care of each other so tenderly then the really "extraordinary" couples would be able to perform miracles.


     The two of them contradicted the very idea that took thousands of years to be build in our consciousness. The "strong" man takes care and "protects" the "weak" woman. And the "tender" romantic woman "loves" and serves loyally the man. Isn't that what the fathers' teach to the boys and mothers' to their daughters? Isn't' that the feminist parties try to kill? Isn't that what's been going on (even without words sometimes) for centuries? Well, that old couple proved millions of beliefs wrong. The woman was taking care of the man. The woman was protecting the man (in any way, even by moving his wheelchair). The woman was both a man and a woman. Of course it could had been the other way round.  But this would change nothing. The same rules would apply.  Only the roles would change.


    I wondered how the man on the wheelchair would feel. I could never come to his place though. How can you understand such a situation if you don't live it yourself. It would be unfair even to him and every person who was unlucky to be in such a situation, to try and come to their place. Ruling out completely the idea of getting in his shoes, I tried a different approach. Was there any way for him to be happy? Was there anything at all that he would desire? The strange thing was that he had a strange smile on his face. The smile of a man who was reassured. The smile of a man who had all the things he needed. And I guess that all the things he wanted were sitting next to him taking care of him. 


    Strangely but without wondering another idea stormed in my mind. What were two senile people doing in a mall? I tried not to rationalize it further. After all it would be a stereotypic idea to judge them because of their age. They might had been there for shopping. Or maybe they were there for a walk. Yet their image among the young "healthy" and "happy" (?) people was rather a stand for them. I felt tenderness and affection for this couple. But also a great sense of proudness. I admired them. They would not compromise in front of a TV. They stood outside in the world (let's face it, the cities are unfriendly for older members of our society). But they lived in their ideal world. An ideal world which might had been difficult to live in, but it was timid and true.

    The couple had already finished their meal, they got prepared and finally faded out in the crowd. The old woman who could barely walk on herself was pushing a wheelchair with her man on it. I sat there for a while thinking of the last image I ever got of this couple. God knows what they had been through in their life. Good,bad,simple or complicated situations. But they were together. Isn't that the power of humanity. To have someone by your side no matter how difficult the situations. No matter what the bumps life throws on your path. Like the announcement on marriages, "Till death..do us apart". So true. How jealous am I of those two "young in heart" old people. The only thing that could keep them apart would literally be death. And in their case even death isn't enough...

Despicable "monsters"...and lonesome souls (?)

     Loneliness and desertion are signs of our time. We live in big cities with skyscrapers, along with millions of people around us, but we get less sociable by the day. We alienate from our neighbors,our family...even our own personality in the end. A quick review in 2009 statistics will reveal that the number of divorces increases,the number of suicides has reached an alerting level the past years and more people have (or choose) to live alone. What the statistics can't show though, is the inner loneliness. The loneliness we face,when we return home, even when around us there are people who love us. It is also a sign of the times. Depression is the new trend. It is justifiable though? Technology has taken away most of our time,leaving less and less time for our friends,our family,our acquaintances and our self in the end. We need to be together with people. It's in our nature. But we tend to run away from them. Cause we haven't learned how to approach them. But sometimes, (and that is a fact) the others chose to run away from us.


     Being a lonely creature myself, I've been thinking lately the reasons for all these. I had to check back in time. Loneliness is not a new thing. Obviously it walks hand in hand with humanity from the beginning of time. The truth is though that do not have many written facts about loneliness through time (psychologists where too busy healing the mental traumas of the ones in battle back in the ancient days). I decided to analyze the portrait of the three most famous lonesome "monsters" of classic literature. Their cases are totally different from every aspect. But they join in the very same point. They were all rejects of society. They were outcasts, because of what they looked like and not what they really where.



Here's their life stories.....



    Pinocchio - Pinocchio is the main character of Carlo Collodi's book "The adventures of Pinocchio". Pinocchio is young boy made out of wood. In the first version of the book her was created by his "father" Geppetto by a magic log. In the newest kids version's along with Disney's animated movie, he was given life by a fairy. No matter what gave life to Pinocchio though, his 

 

story is remarkable. He is a little hell raiser, playing naughty whenever he can. But not always out of character. Since he has been "magically" brought to life, he spends his childhood exploring. He is a bit naive, since he hasn't lived before. His character is not of a bad one though. Whenever he commits a bad deed he understands and regrets it. He is a conscious puppet, and that always gets him in trouble. His nose gets longer when he lies, only to remind him to be humble and righteous. Later in the narration it becomes obvious that Pinocchio feels lonely. He is often being mocked of being a wooden puppet. He gets in trouble for being only what he was "born" to be. We find Pinocchio wanting to become a real boy. He denies his nature, wanting to become "normal" like all the other kids. Although he seems to have many friends and colleagues from the animal kindgom, nevertheless he wants to become a "real" boy in flesh and bones. This is the real message of the book. To show the loneliness that one can feel, when he lives in a place where he is different. Pinocchio is a real example. Cause he is just a kid, but he gets to know the pain of disertion even in this fragile age. The story of Pinocchio is full of surprises. He goes to the circus, being chased by police, being threatened. He even becomes a donkey as a punishment for his behavior. But in the end, even over his restless reckless way of living, his innocent childish world colides with the world of an adult. He has to deal with situations an adult would face. And in the end, to fight his own "wooden" lonely way of living to become a real boy.

      Frankenstein - Frankenstein is the name of the book created by Mary Shelley back in 1818. Wrongfully everybody assumes that Frankenstein is the name of the "monster" created in the book. Actually it is the name of the scientist who created this "monster". In the novel it is called simply "the monster" or "being". That creature is being disrespected even to his own name. The scientist Victor Frankenstein gives life to a creature made of body parts from deceased people. He uses a self made machine to breath life to creature. And in the end he manages to create life. The creature is born. "It'sAlive". Soon after the scientist realizes his mistake. Playing God has always been a taboo in novels. He understands that he has to destroy his own   creation. The creature is naive and gullible.That creature with no past, no     education..has feelings. He is being abandoned by his creator, something  which makes him become independent and also teaches him about life and  humanity. But It understands the danger he is in and tries to save his life. The  creature progressively understands that it is being feared because of it's appearance. It gets more and more alone. The scientist embarks in a manhunt against it (monster-hunt would be the exact phrase), when he finds our that he is responsible for his borther's death. . The creature is fully aware of it's situation. Although in the book his actions and feelings are not exactly followed, we can perceive that it feels lonely and abandoned. The creature has no intentions for it, but it becomes a murderer. He has full cognition of his action though. And even promises revenge on his creator when the latter refuses to create him a female companion. In general we could say that the monster, is not a monster at all. He is a lonely creature, created with a despicable appearance, but inside it seems to be a human after all. More human than humans.

      Quasimodo - Quasimodo is the main character in Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Quasimodo is the bell ringer of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. He is an orphan which was abandoned by his parents in the doorstep of the cathedral when he was a baby. He was raised and protected 

 by Claude Frollo. He is being treated with dignity and care by his "alleged" father. But Quasimodo is an "abomination" in the eyes of the people of Paris. Actually he has spend almost his whole life living in the shadows of the great cathedral. He is a hunchback. His body as well as his face are deformed. He is considered a "monster". But he is kind hearted. He has a lonely soul, hidden behind his appearance. He is devoted to the job he was given, to ring the bells of Notre Dame. And that task cost him his hearing. Quasimodo's story begins to unveil when in one of his few visits outside the church he ends up in a huge carnival being crowned king of fools. Of course it all happens because of his hideous looks, but for the first time in the novel (and his life obviously), poor Quasimodo is accepted by other people. And there begins his beautiful and tragic journey. He meets and falls in love with a mesmerizing gypsy called Esmeralda. Later he saves her from execution. They get to briefly know each other. And while she understands the kind heart of Quasimodo and the love that he feeds for her, still she is in love with the "handsome" Phoebus who is the leader of the guards. After a murder, the death of Esmeralda and a series of events Quasimodo ends in the cemetery, where he dies next to the dead body of his first and only love in life.

  




     Those three "monsters" are different in many aspects. Pinnochio and "Frankenstein" are being magically (or scientifically) enchanted with life. Quasimodo is the only one born like a real human being. The first two also have no past or memories. They were only awaken and have to learn about the world in very short notice. Quasimodo on the other hand has lived a full childhood and adulthood (I don't remember if his age is ever mentioned in the book), although it was not of a real human's life, since he spent most of his life locked inside the darkness of the Cathedral away from prying eyes. Also Quasimodo is the only one who has a job. His task is to ring the bells of the church and he is very devoted to doing it without complain. While the other "two" monsters search for answers and experiences in life, he spends his life in the cathedral without complaining. Until love strikes him, and gives him the initial urge and will to break all his unwritten promises to his protector Frollo and even kill him in the end for the sake of a woman's heart. Frankenstein also becomes a murderer but for completely different reasons, and driven by other emotions. Pinnochio is a child and although he is forced to swim in a world of adults, nevertheless he never loses his childhood innocence. Even after he has faced challenges far beyond his own perception and powers. All three have a fathering figure to consult, but in the end they tend to run far from them. They rebel as their own existence and behavior contradicts of the reality.

  

      Despite their differences all three character of those novels have some common features. They are all outcasts of the "normal" society. They are hated. They are mocked and feared because of their outside looks. The prejudism and the derision of the world around them never asked or cared of who they really were inside. Their looks are enough to bring fear and loathing. And along, they bring pain and desertion to those "otherwise" poor creatures. They are hunted, they hide in the shadows. They all wished that they could lead the "normal" life of others. They all have some unique abilities though. They have a charisma. And above all they all have a tender heart. They are victims. They crave to live life, but life is too cruel to allow to such personalities have a "normal" way of living. All three have a fathering figure to consult, but in the end they tend to run far from them. They rebel as their own existence and behavior contradicts of the reality.


     It's been over 100 years since the time all three novels were written. Have we changed from then?? Of course there are no monsters nowadays (?), buthas prejudism been completely eliminated? Far from that I'd say. Things are even worse today. Cause we are witnesses of a strange phenomenon. Completely normal people, working, being part of society, at the end of the day live in their lonesome world. Away from what we would normally call socialization. They are completely cut from the outside world, having no one to speak to. No one speaks them. It is tragic, in the age of universal communication, that many of us (if not all) have times when we hide in our shell. In a shell where we render others unable to understand us, and we are rendered unable to understand the world. There is no guide line to tell us whether we are lonely or not. Even when we live among the millions of people, we still have a dark spot where loneliness prevails in our soul. And the worst of all, we probably are unaware of that whole concept. 

P.S................. While writing this article I felt a very strong bond with each character. A deep sympathy for them. Sometimes I wished that I could meet them in person, and see myself if I could offer them a different approach to their "unique" physique, and of course their unique personality... Who knows, maybe I've met such "monsters" and treated them badly without knowing and understanding it. Maybe we all did.

Doc.....Please prescribe me a remedy

     What has been humanity's worst illness? Flu? Cholera? Plague? Chicken Pots?....It could be. But which is the only illness that everybody (and I mean everybody) in this planet has gone through? It's a diseace that sometimes leaves scars. Sometimes it is curable. Sometimes not. Sometimes it renders you helpless when others it makes you restless. It can last from one day to one lifetime. Most of the times it gives you a cheerful mood while others it remains an open wound that bleeds for years. I am talking about Love. I would be grateful if everybody agreed that love is a diseace indeed. Of course it is a blessing, but once love has settled in our hearts.. it alters everything that touches, in ways unimaginable before. So, if love is a deseace then it surely has a remedy. Millions of them. Everybody has a prescription. Time, distance, another love, hobbies... Just ask people around you and you will take so many different answers.What is not always easily desiphered though is what symptoms love gives out. How do we know we are love-struck.


Here are some of the most common symptoms of love:


1) Euphoria...A general euphoria overwhelms you. Your body. Your mind. Your every function. You smile to everyone and everything. You walk down the road like "John Travolta" in  "Saturday Night Fever". That old song talking about love that you hated now uplifts you and makes you want to dance.The sun is always shining even when outside your window it's raining. This symptom is passive. But it's results dramatically change your way of thinking.


2) Shining...You seem to shine like a diamond. Your face and your body reflect a blinding light. Like you've been touched by a magic wand. All this shining also affects the things you touch.


3) Insomnia...Yes,when in love, it's so hard to sleep at night. It's hard to sleep in the morning. It's generally hard to sleep. This symtom has a drastic affect on the whole body. In the beginning it is only alerting. But no matter how deep are the consequences in the end your body will give up. You have to sleep sometime, even if it is not for many hours. The effect of insomnia is greatly affected by the severity of the "Euphoria" symtptom.


4) Blindness... You tend to overlook things. You can't find your keys even when they are under your nose. You seem to miss the keyhole on the door or the car. You generally get short sighted, get blurry vision and in the end get totally blinded.. Note.Your loved one stays immune to your blindness.


5) Disfunctions.... You seem to be doing everything the wrong way. You wear you shoes in the wrong foot. You drive your car in the wrong lane. You even seem to push the wrong floor number in the elevator. This symptom comes along with the "Cloud Walking" symptom.


6) Loss of appetite... Your best friend at night has now become a sworn enemy. Or even worse, you seem to be apathetic towards the refrigerator and generally the kitchen area. You lose your appetite. You don't want to eat anything at all. No solid food may pass through your mouth. You discover that you can stay for days without eating without even missing it. Even chewing gum becomes a heavy burden... This symptom has an imminent effect on body weight. And it spreads rapidly. Unfortunately it soon creates the unpleasant feeling of having no power to move. 


7) Discovery... You discover new things. You have found an 8th color in the rainbow. A new note in the pentagram (the "L" note and chord). You are finally able to see that beyond your window lives a green mountain that you've been missing for years. You walk down the road and discover that those walking things among you are actually other human beings and not magically enhanced walking mannequins. This symptom is contradicting symptom #4. 


8) Cloud walking & Dreaming... Your normally rational behavior has been substituted by crazy dreams and anticipations. Your aspirations become somehow multiplied. You think of the future more often than before. You never seize to think in fact. Your mind works at full capacity, and in general making deeply cheerful thoughts. If you could reach the clouds you would surely be able to walk on them.


9) Time disorientation.... You seem to have lost the sense of time. Seconds become minutes. Minutes become hours. Hours become days. Day and night collide and become one. You feel like you don't have enough time to do what you want and on the other hand you get amazed how many hours have passed and you've been gazing at the stars thinking of him/her...