Dear Diary, It’s been such a long day… Although it’s winter and days are shorter than nights, I still think time has gone by slowly today and maybe that’s because I did nothing but think… Of what?? Well, tens of thoughts, ideas and questions have crossed my mind but I’ve chosen one topic I would like to write about on your pages.
Firstly, I know it’s become a conventional formality to begin with “Dear diary” but I simply can’t begin with something else; you are very dear to me indeed, especially because you have the difficult “duty” to listen to my thoughts, witness them, be their keeper; you are the host of my thoughts that I want to release from my tired mind in order to make space for others. So, now that the sun is setting, spreading a mixture of lights into the horizon, I’m determined to fill a few blank pages of yours with something I think I would really like to read again in the remote future, so that it should remind me of the pure thoughts I have this moment….
Well, some thoughts, that I want to bring to light, are related to FRIENDSHIP….FRIENDS…I suppose these words are very familiar to everyone; I can claim that love, health, faith, hope, family, hobbies, career are very important indeed to our lives, some of them even indispensable, but I strongly believe that friends play an extremely important role for each of us. Life is simply better and more beautiful if we have friends around us… and I don’t know…. maybe the whole world is based, among others, also on millions of friendships….maybe these two notions - friendship and friends – are unquestionably considered to be part of our lives, so that many people don’t even bother themselves to think too much about that, but simply accept it as a reality. That’s why I think most people would find needless to write about friendship… But the fact is that I don’t want to change anything by transfering my thoughts on these pages; moreover, I believe that no writer would be able to explain what friends mean neither in a story, nor in a novel, so I don’t intend to impress anyone, I just want to clear up my thoughts. In my opinion, someone could know the real value of true friends only when they find true friends; this can’t be learnt from books or movies; experience is worth a great deal in this case and life is the one to teach us how to live.
……This cosy, little room makes me feel nostalgic. It’s a weird feeling….I suppose it’s terribly cold outside but here it’s so warm and comfortable; I guess my pen finds its way, guided by my hand, only due to the gentle light coming from the simple lamp on the desk. This reminds me of very old times, of scenes I’ve only seen in movies – fire burning in the fireplace, warming up the room and people writing letters at the light of candles; or maybe great philosophers finishing their most important works; or even an introvert writing down a secret story, then hiding it and hoping that nobody will find it. Well, I have no notion whether some of those people could have written something about friendship or not, but one thing is certain – I am here, trying to arrange my thoughts in a logical order so that I should reveal how a true friendship has changed my life….
First of all, do we really know how to choose our friends or we let ourselves tempted by anyone who wears the mask of a friend? Perhaps most people don’t understand the deep meaning of “friend”… In my belief, there are two kind of friends – true friends, who most act with their hearts and you can feel the essence of friendship within them, it’s like an invisible light which comes to surface, and “artificial” friends, who only play the role of a friend; in fact, these last ones don’t even have genuine feelings, they just want to deceive, to betray in order to benefit from other people’s friendship; they have their own purposes and try to accomplish them also resorting to hurt people’s feelings. I am wondering how some people can pose as friends to someone who really believes in them and then gradually remove the veil which covers their true faces. However, I think that if it hadn’t been for these artificial friends, life wouldn’t have been the same, because there wouldn’t have existed conflicts, challenges; if we didn’t meet artificial friends, we wouldn’t appreciate the value of true friends, so maybe this is how things must be. We are surrounded by these two kinds of friends and we are the ones to choose the right people. I think it’s very important for us to know how to keep the distance with those who seem to reveal only the superficial meaning of “friend”; we should learn to read between the lines, to read people’s hearts in order to find out their true intentions. But there might also be a lot of surprises and unexpected situations; for example, I believe that time and circumstances are able to determine an artificial friend to become a real friend, but such a process can last for years. On the other hand, however, I think it’s almost impossible for a very good friend to transform into an artificial one, because once a true friendship is established, it should never disappear – at least that’s how I see it but I suppose most people would find that a bit exaggerated.
… Another two notions that people often mistake are “true friend” and “perfect friend”. But I am just wondering…. How should a perfect friend be? Should he/she have a good looking, never mistake anything, never do anything wrong, never lie, but always tell you absolutely everything about his/her own life? Well, I am sorry to disappoint those who think they’ve found a perfect friend, but perfect friends don’t exist… Nobody is perfect. We, humans, have been created to have also flaws, do mistakes from which we should learn, so we shouldn’t focus on perfection, but on what is kind, genuine, sincere. We had better look deep inside a human being because appearances are so deceiving. So why should we care about religion, nationality, financial status when we seek for friends? The colour of your skin doesn’t make you different, nor the blood which runs through your veins – a peasant or a member of a royal family? Why should we care about the family someone belongs to? God has created us so that we live in different countries, speak different languages, have different cultures and beliefs, but the essence of the human spirit is universal. That’s why I think we shouldn’t let these shallow things influence us. All that really matters is the moral values, which are priceless, but unfortunately many people don’t see them at the right time.
…. Nowadays, people use too often the word “friend”. For example, especially teenagers call “friends” those who they go out with and have fun, but nothing more than that; no exchange of feelings, nothing serious, just having fun… these are not true friends, but rather fellows, companions when someone just wants to have fun. Also those who do something for you and then ask for something else in return are not friends either, because true friends help each others unconditionally. In addition, some people call “friends” those who circumstancially help them achieve something and you often hear them saying: “Oh, I’ve got a friend there….He/She could help me…”; these are not friends, but acquaintances, I would say. To be honest, I find quite strange that people often mistake the real meaning of “true friend”; they call “friend” even a person they met a few days before….
As for me, I am so glad I’ve found a true friend… Well, maybe the words “have found” are not the right ones because actually, HE has found me. The thing is that we don’t necessarily have to seek for friends – we might “bump into” them casually or…. not! Destiny also plays an extremely important role in all that and, about my case, I can say it was meant to be like that. So, always keep your eyes and heart widely opened because you never know neither when the unexpected strikes you, nor if it brings something good or bad. Perhaps we have to accept that we live in a mystery, life will never run out of surprises. Well, the curious thing is that at first, I didn’t believe it was going to be such a strong friendship between us, I didn’t even think that I would consider HIM a true friend…. Now I am simply amazed of how things have been evolving…. But it’s so complicated to describe all that. Maybe I am not able to transpose my feelings well in writing or maybe they can’t be transposed.
I’ll try to give some reference points of how a true friend is supposed to be, by observing HIS attitude, behaviour, which successfully enlightens his qualities and on the same time promises to be a life-long friendship. Well, being a kind and sociable person is among the first steps to a beautiful friendship. Even if we might talk about shy, introvertite people or extroverted, easy-going ones, I think it’s important for a friend to be open-minded, willing to listen to what you have to say, but not judge; it’s very good for friends to be able to talk about all kind of things, even the oddest ones because that helps a lot. Talking, discussing, we could learn a lot of things from each others but another point, which is worth being considered, is that even though many people don’t realize, it is terribly awful not to have someone whom you could talk, confess… It is terrible being compelled to keep your thoughts only for yourself, to be the only one to enjoy or hate them. It is a great relief to know there is someone you could openly talk to, share your memories, thoughts, ideas, concerns, maybe stupid questions…. Moreover, I think that having the sense of humour is indispensable; sometimes, jokes are more than welcomed and we should look at the bright side even if the situation were not good at all. That’s why I appreciate him when HE makes me smile – no matter how sad I am, it’s impossible for him not to say something funny in order to bring a smile on my face; and he also keeps on smiling, regardless of the difficult moments he has to face.
A thing I can’t overlook is that you can learn a lot from friends. Maybe you learn how to speak a new language, or information about other countries and cultures, or maybe you learn from your friends’ mistakes and advice or perhaps just little things that haven’t stirred your interest so far. If it hadn’t been for him, I suppose I would have never put Pinocchio, Frankenstein and Quasimodo together, finding out their common features. I was offered a very impressive and interesting outlook upon these well-known characters…. Also the mirror, this thing which reflects every day both my appearance and my inner self….. I would have never attributed so many features to such a thing. And when I’m thinking that he didn’t even believe I would like that short writing….. What is more, “Women vs Guitars”….it’s just woowww….who else could have thought of such a comparison?? As I didn’t know much about these musical instruments, it was a good and interesting way to learn more about them. However, I am curious what a woman guitarist would think about that…..Something that strongly impressed me and also proved me that sometimes we might think the same was that about Angels….. I do believe in angels and I have confidence in my beliefs but I didn’t dare to write about that, as he did; so I’ve found it quite touching and thought provoking…..and I’ve just thought there had to be something of an angel within him because my life has changed in a positive way due to his presence. Why do I say angels must have interfered? I do say that because I believe HE has been sent by God – he entered my life when I really needed a true friend….
Who would have believed me if I had told them that one afternoon I saw a heart shaped cloud on the blue sky? Perhaps many people would think it was just my imagination but I can surely claim that the white cloud had exactly the shape of a heart. I knew it was a sign and so did he. HE believed me and I am very pleased to know that. Furthermore, I can’t be absolutely sure, but maybe he told nobody but me about the butterflies that have become divine signs to him. Unbelievable is the fact that a few days after he had told me about that, something very strange happened to me – I was walking on the pavement, when a tiny, white feather suddenly made a few pirouettes in the air, in front of my eyes and then fell softly on the ground. All happened so quickly that I could hardly stop from walking. But when I wanted to pick it up, the wind blew and took it away. It was amazing because I knew it was a sign too. HE had told me to look carefully around me in order to see the many signs God might have sent for me… It’s something very difficult to explain…. When you have a true friend who is willing to listen to your strangest experiences and also share with you thoughts that maybe he hasn’t told anyone else before, you are feeling as if you exchanged emotions, feelings. I suppose each of us has realized there are also things we can’t tell our parents, sisters, brothers, relatives or so called artificial friends; maybe because there are too personal things, or unusual ones, things that most people would not believe or understand, so that we need a true friend, a trustworthy person , ready to keep secrets, to help us observe, analyze, understand, surpass hurdles and bad moments; a true friend is the one to laugh with you in the good times and enjoy your success, but on the other hand, he is the one to offer you a shoulder to cry on. Friends are supposed to pass together through goods and bads. Also a good friend is able to read you like a book, read your eyes, your heart….
However, I think the most important quality of a friend is SINCERITY. If it weren’t for sincerity, then we would permanently live surrounded by lies. So, I expect from a true friend to tell me his sincere opinions, even if I might disagree with them. If we want to change for the better, to improve some aspects, then we shouldn’t be told what we would like to hear, but be told the truth, no matter how painful it might be. In my point of view, those who hide some things from others, hoping that way they will manage to protect the last ones, act wrongly, because doing that, they create some false circumstances that, once revealed, may leave a deep mark on people. I remember how excited I was about the novel I still want to write one day; and he wanted to help with as much good and sincere advice as possible; I’ll never forget these words: “first…keep notes of every good idea you have…everything….second…when you decide to write, don’t rush it! Don’t just start writing…. Take some time to make a draft of how your story would go….and third and probably most important…live your life….gain experiences…get in touch with more people you can…get in touch with nature and God…travel to places you’ve never been…. That will surely broaden your horizons….that’s my advice….”
….Well, my conclusion: true friends really exist but I think they are rare and I think you need patience, faith, luck and , of course, a bit of help from Destiny in order to find such a friend. But once you’ve bound a strong friendship, I do believe it could last forever. As for me, this friendship has completely changed my way of thinking; it’s something so complex and envolves so many different things that is able to change the lives of both of us…. Well, dear diary, you’ve just found out how a true friend is, although maybe you don’t understand anything and you will only have to play host to these thoughts…. Funny shadows are dancing on the wall everytime I move. Outside, the snow is sparkling in the gentle moonlight and the stars seem to be golden dust on a black velvet. I’ll start stargazing…. Perhaps HE does that too, I know HE likes it a lot…..
P.S.......The above text was send to me as a birthday gift from a very good friend....It's all about friendship and probably the best birthday gift I ever got..The word moving would be only a mild expression of how touching those words are to me....So in return I am publishing-hosting those beautifully articulated thoughts into my blog.....Cause these are the words of a very promising young "under construction" ;) author....Enjoy the words....Enjoy them like I did......(anybody wanting to talk with her about the text inform me and I will contact you).........
